a must read if you have a daughter

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by 358 winchester, Mar 9, 2009.

  1. 358 winchester

    358 winchester *TFF Admin Staff*

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    Application for a date with my daughter

    APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
    Print out and submit as per instructions at the bottom of the form. 1. Name :__________________________________________________ Date of Birth :_________________
    2. Height :___________________________ Weight :_______________________ GPA :________________
    3. Social Sec. #_______________________ Drivers license #______________________________________
    4. Boy Scout Rank :__________________________
    5. Home address :____________________________ City/ State____________________________________
    6. Do you have one male and one female parent ? Yes _______ No _______
    7. If no, explain :_________________________________________________________________________
    8. Number of years parents married :__________________________________________________________
    9. Do you own a van ?______ A truck with oversized tires ?______ A water bed ?_______
    10. Do you have an earring , nose ring , belly-button ring ?______ A tattoo ?_______
    (If yes to any of #9 or #10, Discontinue application and leave premises ...
    11. In ten words or less, what does LATE mean to you ?___________________________________________
    12. In ten words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you ?______________________________________
    13. In ten words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you ?___________________
    _______________________________________________________________________________________
    14. Church you attend :_________________________________ How often you attend :_______________
    15. When would be the best time to interview your Father, Mother, And Minister ? ___________________
    16. What would you want to be IF you grew up ? _______________________________________________

    Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely - all answers are confidential
    (that I won't tell anyone - ever- I promise).

    If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is in the __________________________

    If I were beaten the last bone I would want broken is my ________________________________________
    The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ___________________________________

    When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is_______________________________________
    (Note: If answer begins with T or A, discontinue and leave premises: Keeping your head low and running in
    a serpentine fashion is advised. )

    I SWEAR THAT THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF: NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION,
    CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DEATH, AND DISMEMBERMENT.

    Signature (that means your name, moron)
    -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
    Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing if
    you are approved. Please do not attempt to call or write. If your application is rejected you will be
    notified by two gentlemen wearing white coats and carrying a violin case.

    APPLICANT'S RIGHT THUMB PRINT IN BLOOD
    ________________________________________________
    Just something to think about :D
  2. 4EvrLearning

    4EvrLearning New Member

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    omgosh, 358....that is a riot!!! I will be sharing that, for sure!

    Now...how about one for our sons to keep them safe from the pushy little chicks out there? Sheeeeesh!!
  3. USMC-03

    USMC-03 New Member

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    And I'll also make it very clear that I have no problem adding to my long list of felony convictions for violent offences; of course they'll have to find the body first...
  4. TranterUK

    TranterUK Guest

    Perfect, though polishing the Thompson when they arrive at the house also seems to work! :)
  5. I found cleaning one of my shotguns, preferably a double barrel side by side, worked quite well too, Tranter. :D;)
  6. 358 winchester

    358 winchester *TFF Admin Staff*

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    I had boys. I told them all, the father of that girl comes looking for you I am telling him where you are hiding simple as that , now you make your own choice! :D
  7. Brian48

    Brian48 New Member

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  8. ryan_marine

    ryan_marine New Member

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    Can I use this in the future? I know she is only 9 mo old right now. But I might need this in about 14-18 years from now.

    Thanks

    Ryan
  9. armedandsafe

    armedandsafe Guest

    My daughter got all POed at me, once when she brought a boyfriend over and I was cleaning guns at the table.

    The boyfriend sat down and spent all his time, until they had to leave to catch the movie, talking to me about hunting and shooting. Completely ignored the (most irritated) young lady. :D:D:D

    Pops
  10. TranterUK

    TranterUK Guest

    I went to a wedding recently in which the groom in his speech mentioned his new father in law, who was 'almost as big a football fan as he was a real ale fan!'. 'How lucky can I get' he said, while his bride also looked on, a little irritated!
  11. LurpyGeek

    LurpyGeek Active Member

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    Growing up, my next door neighbor required a $50 deposit to take his daughter on a date.

    I don't know if it bothered the daughter or the suitors more.
  12. okeeemt

    okeeemt New Member

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    ryan marine. i agree mine is 2 weeks old and i have already made this list for anybody to take her on a date. also when we talk about scare tactics. i think about cleaning a double barrel 12 and looking thru the barrel at the guy and saying .." oh can i help you with anything" ...
  13. TranterUK

    TranterUK Guest

    I love what some of these guys with young daughters think they are going to do, If the daughters give them a chance.

    What you need to worry about guys is what goeas on when your not around...trust me on that.
  14. ckill1

    ckill1 New Member

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    This is great! As the father of not 1, not 2, but 3 daughters I have been dreading the whole dating thing and wondering how I will handle it. I have several friends with 2-3 boys about the same age and have started threatening them early;)!

    Chris
  15. Ed Wagner

    Ed Wagner Member

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    My old neighbor had a simpler solution, he had 4 daughters, I have an older brother, we lived the width of a 20 acre field apart. His oldest daughter was about 1 year older than my brother, #2 about the same younger, #3 about 1 year older than me,#4 about 2years younger than me. My neighbor was also on the Draft Board for our county, brother graduated got drafted, I graduated got drafted, closest neighbor boy was VERY NERVOUS.
  16. rosierita

    rosierita New Member

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    :p:p:p

    :p:p:p you do know that list would disqualify 1 of your babies, right?!:D:D:D
  17. 358 winchester

    358 winchester *TFF Admin Staff*

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    All three of them but then I am not doing the shopping :D They didn't listen to daddy
  18. gdmoody

    gdmoody Moderator Supporting Member

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    That is great. It sort of reminds me of the first date my daughter had. When the fellow came to the house, I invited him in and first showed him the trophies that I have for the Shooting Arts as I told him how much I love her. I then took a .45 ACP out of my pocket and asked him to spell his name for me so I could get it right on the bullet. Never had any problems with her being brought home late or anything, come to think of it.l
  19. 4EvrLearning

    4EvrLearning New Member

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    awwwww Tranter :( There is only so much we can "control" as parents, that's for sure. We do the best we can...instill in them what we hope for them to take on as their own...and in my case, I pray a lot.

    Being a parent is a humbling experience!!
  20. rosierita

    rosierita New Member

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    :p:p:p you raised some rebels ron! ;):D
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