Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by old jeff, Aug 28, 2010.

  1. old jeff

    old jeff New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    34
    Location:
    Roanoke, Virginia
    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.
    The answer can be found by posing the following questions :



    You're walking down a
    deserted street with your wife
    and two small children.



    Suddenly, an Islamic
    Terrorist with a huge knife
    comes around the corner, locks eyes with you,
    screams obscenities, praises
    Allah, raises the
    knife, and charges at you.



    You are carrying a
    Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.



    You have mere seconds
    before he reaches you and your family. What
    do you do?



    .................................................. ..........



    THINK CAREFULLY AND
    THEN SCROLL DOWN:












    Democrat's
    Answer :


    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    What does the law say about this situation?
    Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message
    does this send to society and to my children?
    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    Should I call 9-1-1?
    Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this a happier and healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    This is all so confusing!
    I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a
    consensus.



    .................................................. .................................................. ...........





    Republican's
    Answer:





    BANG!

    .................................................. .................................................. .........


    Redneck's Answer:




    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG !
    Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
    BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! BANG!
    BANG! Click

    Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!
    Were those the Winchester
    Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

    Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

    Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist
  2. Alpo

    Alpo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2007
    Messages:
    11,200
    Location:
    NW Florida
    I keep hoping that, one day, when this gets posted AGAIN, that the poster will delete the last bit of nonsense (when it first showed up, and it was a black mugger, not an Arab terrorist, the joke ended after emptying the second magazine).

    Not only are the wife's and children's comments idiotic, and actually detract from the joke, but Winchester Silvertips ARE hollowpoints.


    I feel better now. That's been building up inside me for years.
  3. Crpdeth

    Crpdeth Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2002
    Messages:
    8,285
    Location:
    Location: Location
    Hehee! :)
  4. Trouble 45-70

    Trouble 45-70 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2009
    Messages:
    2,703
    Location:
    NE Ar. W. of Black River
    Now that the story has been modified to cover an Arab terrorist, the question needs to be asked, "Was the bore lubed with Silver Bullet Gun Lube Containing 13% Pork?"
  5. wpage

    wpage Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2009
    Messages:
    1,486
    Redneck Squared...
  6. RunningOnMT

    RunningOnMT New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2008
    Messages:
    4,720
    Location:
    Akron, Ohio
    I gotta get me one of those 9 shot Kimbers.
  7. Old Grump

    Old Grump New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2010
    Messages:
    2,320
    Location:
    Little hut in the woods near Blue River Wisconsin
    My neck is kind of red I guess but no use reloading unless there are two of them. Boots was made for stomping after the shooting is done.
  8. 199er

    199er New Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2010
    Messages:
    627
    Location:
    Columbia SC
    I'm an Indepentent voter but I would answer this situation with the Redneck reponse!!
  9. Pixcutter

    Pixcutter Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2010
    Messages:
    44
    Location:
    Los Angeles, California
    Somewhere between the Republican (Bang!) and the Redneck (BANG x14) is the fiscally responsible independent (Bang bang bang).
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