Are you a Democrat, Republican or a Texas Republican?

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by inplanotx, Mar 20, 2006.

  1. inplanotx

    inplanotx Active Member

    Jan 28, 2002
    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    The answer can be found by posing the following question.

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
    children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around
    the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah,
    raises the knife, and charges at you.

    You are carrying a colt .45 automatic, and you are an expert shot.
    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?

    Democrat's answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the
    man look poor or oppressed?
    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
    his hand? What does the law say about this situation?
    Does the Colt have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I
    carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send
    to society and to my children?
    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Dos he definitely
    want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
    while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1?
    Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint
    and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would
    discourage such behavior.
    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for
    a few days and try to come to a consensus.

    Republican's answer:


    Texas Republican's Answer:

    Click...... (Reload), BANG! BANG! ! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

    Daughter: "Nice grouping Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips
    or Ranger Black Talons?
    Son: "Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one?"
    Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!"
  2. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

    Mark me up, in this case, as bein' a Texan.....:) :)

  3. bit_o_Ruckus

    bit_o_Ruckus New Member

    Mar 17, 2006
    Heck man even if the Democrat had whuped out his gun, he still would of had to ask his wife for permission to use it, but first she would of had to of given him the key to the gun lock, which she had left back at the house safely locked up in a child proof cabinet.

    Then after the Texan Republican had done all that shooten, his little girl would have asked him “Daddy is the bad man dead? His answer would have been “No baby he’s Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! and Dead!

    And his wife would of stated emphatically “Billy Bob you ain’t gona tie that bloody thing on top of MY SUV, I just spent $25.00 at the car wash gettin all the bug splatter washed off, and they barely were able to get all the dried jackrabbit brains off the front bumper“.

    Heh! Heh! Heh! Heh! "Texans” you don’t have to like us, but you Shor got to luv us.

    Last edited: Mar 20, 2006
  4. Mesen

    Mesen Active Member

    Feb 16, 2001
    You wouldn't hear that line of crap out of this Democrat's mouth for darn sure!!!!!

    I'm somewhere in between the R word and the other one. It would only take one clip...saving the rest in case he's got a friend along.

    see ya
  5. OMG...that is such bull $h!t...
  6. glad to hear you don't go along with the majority either! :)

  7. Marlin T

    Marlin T Well-Known Member

    Jul 8, 2005
    New Mexico
    I'm going to have to add a category. Conservative (R), as Mesen would put it :rolleyes:, you might want to save a clip for the next bad guy around the corner.

    Mesen LOL, glad to see your still here. Your response was funnier than the joke! LOL! Thanks I needed that.
  8. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

    Bree, how 'bout we have you in a Texas Donkey 2nd Amendment category rather than Tejas R-word? I am sure that the former Senator from Georgia, ZM, would also be in this distinguished category

    :D :D :D :D
  9. SouthernMoss

    SouthernMoss *Admin Tech Staff*

    Jan 1, 2003
    SW MS
    Years ago there used to be a term down here in the Deep South: Southern Democrat. They are a different breed from the garden variety Democrats. Zell Miller would fit into that category. And Bree and Firebird, I have a feeling you two would fit nicely in that category as well. ;)
  10. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

    To add to SoMo's comments, I grew up being led to understand that all true Southern Democrats were Republican - - -

    except on election day......:D :D :D
  11. Not me...I'm true all the way through...
  12. polishshooter

    polishshooter Well-Known Member

    Mar 25, 2001
    Hey I've MET Mesen...and I firmly BELIEVE she would pull that little cute .25ACP out and USE it if she had to...(as soon as she figgers out the tip up barrel thingy...) ;) :)

    Sorry Bree!

    But let me TELL you, Bree is ONE "Lib" that "DON'T FIT THE MOLD!"

    I HATE "Typical" Liberals(My tag line I truly BELIEVE...)....and that's maybe 99.9% of them....

    BUT I would take Bree watching MY back in a tough place, ANY day....(if only she had a bigger gun, though... :cool: )
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2006
  13. Mesen

    Mesen Active Member

    Feb 16, 2001
    Hey polish,
    fredneck took away that one. Got a couple of bigger ones now. heehee.

    see ya
  14. Im none of the above Im 100% pure blooded redneck shooting him is to easy beat on em for a couple hours
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2006
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