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Assault, using Cheetos!

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by mrkirker, Jun 26, 2009.

  1. mrkirker

    mrkirker New Member

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    SHELBYVILLE, Tenn. - Authorities in Shelbyville say a couple got into a fight using orange puffy snacks.

    The Bedford County Sheriff's Department said 40-year-old James Earl Taylor and 44-year-old Mary S. Childers argued at a home Sunday using Cheetos.

    Deputies said they were charged with domestic assault. No one was hurt.

    According to the Shelbyville Times-Gazette, both posted bond of $2,500.

    (I'm going to apply for my CCP {Cheetos Carry Permit} right away)
  2. carver

    carver Moderator

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    Domestic Assault? From a Cheeto? $2500? They should have been given an award for figgerin out how to fight without hurting each other!!!!!!! I suppose a concerned neighbor called the police after hearing the awful sound of Cheetos being thrown! Think what kind of charges could have been brought if either of these despiratautos had thrown a whole hand full at one time! Full auto weapon!
  3. mrkirker

    mrkirker New Member

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    Well, they might have been using the 'original' variety, you know.

    Actually, these guys could be role models. What if all parents taught their kids to fight with food, instead of guns, knives, bombs, golf clubs, baseball bats, etc. Why, what a peaceful, wonderful world this would be! (ducking!)
  4. bcj1755

    bcj1755 New Member

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    A wretched hive of scum and villiany
    Too bad they didn't eat the evidence before the cops arrived:eek::p
  5. woolleyworm

    woolleyworm Active Member

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    Looks like they were caught orange handed..... :rolleyes:
  6. pinecone70

    pinecone70 Active Member

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    Minnesota Gal!
  7. cycloneman

    cycloneman Well-Known Member

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    this has the makings of an snl skit.
  8. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk New Member

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    maybe they didn't take them out of bags. :D:D:D
  9. Mr. Nameless

    Mr. Nameless New Member

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    This reminds me of the guy that charged aith assault with a deadly weapon last year. The weapon, was a cheesburger. He threw it at his wife............
  10. Ursus

    Ursus Active Member

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    Now the liberals will try to ban Cheetos...
  11. woolleyworm

    woolleyworm Active Member

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    I already bought out the local stock, you can now buy them on CheetoBroker for $2 per bite !! :p
  12. I wonder if they were using .45 caliber Cheetos, or just 9mm Cheetos. :D;)
  13. ampaterry

    ampaterry *TFF Admin Staff Chaplain* Staff Member Supporting Member

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    The fallout from this is racing across our fair state already.

    1. Cheeto's with extra cholesterol and a special donut flavored coating are on the streets, nicknamed "Cop Killer Cheeto's".
    2. Legislators are working on a bill to limit the number of cheetos anyone can purchase in a 30 day period.
    3. It is illegal to bring a Cheeto within 100 yards of any school.
    4. Any Cheeto larger in diameter than .50" is illegal for a private citizen to own.
    5. The large bags, or 'high capacity' bags of Cheetos are illegal to own without a FCL(Federal Cheeto License)
    6. Research is developing a new ingredient that will cause the Cheeto to dissolve into goo two weeks after manufacture, rendering them harmless. This will stop Cheeto stockpiling.
    7. Most stores are sold out of Cheeto's, and the ones that are still in stock are selling for $10 per ounce.

    (With apologies to our LEO's for number one; I simply could NOT pass this one up!!)
  14. Bruce FLinch

    Bruce FLinch New Member

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    Don't forget the extra killing power of the "Flamin' Hot" Cheetos! :D
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