Being framed by a co-worker...

Discussion in 'The Fire For Effect and Totally Politically Incorr' started by Nolaphoto1, Jan 7, 2010.

  1. Nolaphoto1

    Nolaphoto1 New Member

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    What does one do when being framed by a co-worker?

    I work in a male dominated industry. However we have a few females in my department. One in particular has now set her sights on me and moved in for the kill. During the holidays, she contacted me via Facebook. I was looking up info on a gun part at the time (sight rail for a buck mark). She messaged me and inquired into my Christmas day. I responded and returned the inquiry. She responded that her husband was still offshore. Now during the days prior to the holiday, she would talk to me about the fact that it was their first Christmas as a married couple and that he had volunteered to pull an extra stint and was going to be on a supply boat in the Gulf of Mexico. From the facebook response and this bit of history I could tell she was bothered by it. So, during the facebook message exchange I simply said "you need to find a way to keep your husband from wanting to go offshore so much." The very next message that followed was simply an exchange about how when you're looking for something particular on the internet, you can't find it- but when you don't look for it, it's all over the place.

    That was the conversation...or so I thought. The following day I received a phone call from an offshore SAT phone and it was her husband yelling and cursing me out and threatening to come to the office and kick my a$$. At first I was like "What the hell are you talking about????" He went on in with a tantrum full of obscenities saying that I was telling his wife how to "F$@% him" and this it was none of my business and that we was coming to kick my a$$ and every other guy's a$$ at the office. I told the guy that I had no idea what he and his wife discussed but that obviously there was some bad communication involved. He just kept up his threats and vulgarity and I just pulled the phone away from my ear until the squawky voice on the other end ceased.

    So, fast forward a couple of days...my boss calls me into his office and tells me that the head of human resources called and told him that this co-worker appeared before her claiming that I disrespected her and sexually harassed her via facebook. We got to talking and as it turns out, in her short, less than one year history at our company, she has made three complaints...1) in her first three weeks about the senior CAD tech who's job it was to train her and bring her up to speed on how we do things, 2) three months ago against the staff coordinator who's job it is to assemble the daily report of the staff of our five offices, and 3) Me...a project manager who's job it is to oversee the CAD tech's daily activities as it relates to completing the drafting work on any projects I oversee. She claimed the senior CAD tech made her feel "uncomfortable because he was spending so much time training her", that the staff coordinator rubbed her arms and played with her hair, and that I sexually harassed her over the Christmas holidays via facebook.

    This entire episode totally infuriates me. My wife has questioned my faithfulness to her and now the HR head (the daughter of the chairman of the company) thinks I am some sort of perv.

    Guys, be careful out there with the people you work with. You might think you're playing the role of "friend" when listening to a co-workers problems, but you have to ask yourself if you're playing the role of "patsy." I'd like to think that there is more "good" in people than bad. I realize their is evil in the world. I just didn't think it was sitting across the hall from at work.
  2. artabr

    artabr New Member

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    You should be able to pull up you f/b conversation with her. Present it to your HR department and then tell them to tell her to stop her crap or your next stop will be your lawyers office. Two can play that game.


    Art
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2010
  3. cycloneman

    cycloneman Well-Known Member

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    Next time a woman wants to talk to you ask yourself "do I really want to go insane"?

    You just had an encounter with physco *itch! It is a illness that effects 9.5 out of 10 women. It happens mostly after they marry and or have kids. It only subsides when they go into menopause or when the kids leave the house. Your mileage may vary.


    As far as your wife is concerned, you’re screwed. You talked to another woman. You might as well had given her your salami sandwich 10 different ways from Sunday. You follow what I am saying there? Your wife probably wants to know what she looks like, what her name is, and what is her bra size. So in essence your wife has the same sickness.

    There is a cure, not for them but for you. Jack Daniels


    Honestly this is all just been a joke - maybe? Good luck dude.
  4. pinecone70

    pinecone70 Active Member

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    Wow cyclone, that's some serious rant. :D I especially like the first sentence......:eek:
  5. pinecone70

    pinecone70 Active Member

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    I agree with this option, provide proof and request to be left alone after it's cleared up. Otherwise, find a different job.

    Oh yeah, I'd like to add that there are women out there that are bursting with crazy, this is an example of what to watch out for so you can avoid them at all costs. Ugh!
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2010
  6. rentalguy1

    rentalguy1 Former Guest

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    X2 on pulling up the FB conversation. Anything done on a computer has a trail. You just have to find it, and print it off. Then shove it up the HR's ladies rear end.
  7. cycloneman

    cycloneman Well-Known Member

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    Ha! You know it's true. Ha! Now Piney I did say 9.5 out of 10.
  8. pinecone70

    pinecone70 Active Member

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    Oh, even I know it's true. I have two close female friends, otherwise I hang out with the men. :D
  9. Nolaphoto1

    Nolaphoto1 New Member

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    I appreciate the humor, honestly I do. It's been the only viable method of getting through this. My boss and other co-workers have been very supportive the last few days. My department is like a family. We all do things together outside of work and we all joke and help out one another like we were all brothers. It's one of the tightest groups of people I've had the pleasure of working with. Except now we have this treasonous conspirator in our ranks. HR has said that there is nothing they can do because it's a conversation that was via a publicly accessed web site and that it took place completely outside work, and that no single comment meets the requirements to prove harassment. That's what they are "saying." However, like I told my boss, what the "say" and what do are two different things. This incident may be outside the walls of the office, but a slow economy surely isn't and in a right to work state such as Louisiana an employer need not provide a reason for terminating employment.

    The funny thing is that I have a friend who shares an office with this person. He came into my office and said the following "Man I had to get out of there. She's in there with 'Jessica' and they are talking about breast implants."

    Don't you just love this b%&^%** double standard.
  10. cycloneman

    cycloneman Well-Known Member

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    This here is the truth. I think you would look long and hard to find 2 women who could get together and bake a pie in the same kitchen. I know my wife and her mother cant. My wife and any of her sisters cant. None of my aunts can get together with out a fight. Isn't that strange?

    Guys can come together for the first time at a hunting camp or anywhere for that matter and build anything together. Something strange.

    I have to ask this question. Why is it so?
  11. Nolaphoto1

    Nolaphoto1 New Member

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    I tried pulling the instant message history but two problems were encountered: 1) only the recent history (12-24 hours) is available and 2) I removed her from my contact list the minute her hot headed idiot husband called me, so it's definitely gone from my end.

    The only other way I might be able to retrieve it would involve a legal notice to Facebook from an attorney.
  12. Nolaphoto1

    Nolaphoto1 New Member

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    answer: estrogen
  13. pinecone70

    pinecone70 Active Member

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    It is pretty strange. I fit right in with the men and they enjoy having me around, but women are fickle friends. I had a third female friend, but then she found a boyfriend and her brain cells diminished. She even nags me now.
  14. Jim K

    Jim K New Member

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    Hire an attorney immediately! Do not talk to HR, the boss, the co-worker or her husband without your attorney present. Tell HR and your boss that you are sorry to have to take this route, but you must protect yourself and your reputation. Point out that the danger is not only to you, but could also harm the company. (A lot of those shooting incidents started as disputes between co-workers, until someone snapped!)

    And, yes, you could end up losing your job, but with your attorney sticking by you, you could end up with enough of a golden handshake to pay him/her off and still take a long vacation at a nice resort.

    Refer all phone calls, e-mails or other attempts at contact to your attorney. You cannot fight this one alone. You are dealing with two bad people, a lying slut and a jealous and controlling lunatic. If you are truly innocent, and your wife refuses to accept that, then your lawyer can institute divorce proceedings. A wife who does not trust you (assuming you have given her no other cause, like previous cheating), is not a very good wife.

    Jim
  15. cycloneman

    cycloneman Well-Known Member

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    she is looking to trap someone. Tell your buddie to go to office depot and get an olympus voice recorder. It is smaller than a cell phone mdl vn-4100pc
    or the latest model. You can put it in your pocket and it will record everyone in the room. It can record phone conversations and can be connected to your PC. I was told about it from an attourney and it is the best thing since sliced bread. DO IT!!! It will record up to 24 hours. When they start talking about implants nail them.
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