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Brave man jokes

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by cycloneman, Sep 19, 2009.

  1. cycloneman

    cycloneman Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2008
    Messages:
    8,290
    Location:
    Louisiana
    Ladies dont get mad it's just jokes. :D:D:D:D
    got it in email

    >
    >
    > VERY
    > BRAVE MAN JOKES
    >
    >
    >
    > How do you turn a fox into an
    > elephant?
    >
    > Marry her!
    >
    >
    >
    > What is the difference between a battery and a
    > woman?
    >
    > A battery has a positive side.
    >
    >
    >
    > What are the three fastest means of
    > communication?
    >
    > 1) Television
    >
    > 2) Telephone
    >
    > 3) Telawoman
    >
    >
    >
    > What should you give a woman who has
    > everything?
    >
    > A man to show her how to work
    > it.
    >
    >
    >
    > Why is the space between a woman's breasts and
    > her hips called a waist?
    >
    > Because you could easily fit another pair of breasts
    > in there.
    >
    >
    >
    > How do you make 5 pounds of fat look
    > good?
    >
    > Put a nipple on it.
    >
    >
    >
    > What do you say to a woman with 2 black
    > eyes?
    >
    > Nothing,
    > she's
    > been told twice already.
    >
    >
    >
    > If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag
    > at you, what have you done wrong?
    >
    > Made her chain too long.
    >
    >
    >
    > How many men does it take to open a
    > beer?
    >
    > None. It should be opened when she brings
    > it.
    >
    >
    >
    > Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a
    > woman?
    >
    > Because a woman who can't even afford a washing
    > machine will probably
    > never be able to support you.
    >
    >
    >
    > Why do women have smaller feet than
    > men?
    >
    > It's one of those 'evolutionary things'
    > that allows them to stand closer
    > to the kitchen sink.
    >
    >
    >
    > How do you know when a woman is about to say
    > something smart?
    >
    > When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told
    > me...'
    >
    >
    >
    > How do you fix a woman's
    > watch?
    >
    > You don't. There is a clock on the
    > oven.
    >
    >
    >
    > Why do men pass gas more than
    > women?
    >
    > Because women can't shut up long enough to build
    > up the required
    > pressure.
    >
    >
    >
    > If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife
    > is yelling at the front door,
    > who do you let in first?
    >
    > The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you
    > let him in.
    >
    >
    >
    > What's worse than a Male Chauvinist
    > Pig?
    >
    > A woman who won't do what she's
    > told.
    >
    >
    >
    > I married my 'Miss
    > Right'.
    >
    > I just didn't know her first name
    > was Always.
    >
    >
    >
    > Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a
    > woman's s*ex
    > drive by 90% ...
    >
    > it's called a Wedding Cake.
    >
    >
    >
    > Why do men die before their
    > wives?
    >
    > They want to.
    >
    >
    >
    > Women will never be equal to men
    > ...
    >
    > until they can walk down the street with a bald head
    > and a beer gut, and
    > still think they are sexy.
    >
    >
    >
    >
  2. johnlives4christ

    johnlives4christ Former Guest

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2008
    Messages:
    3,828
    Location:
    Kentucky
  3. kutaho

    kutaho New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2009
    Messages:
    1,851
    Location:
    Peoples Republic of the Pacific Northwest
    So the title, Your a braver man then i:rolleyes:
    as the wife would say, 'ya gotta sleep sometime'
    I wouldn't be so worried if i could figure out

    where she hid the super glue:eek:
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