CHURCH HUMOR---.

Discussion in 'The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch' started by Guest, Mar 2, 2003.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    high2fly
    *Senior Chief Moderator*
    Posts: 7
    (7/13/01 11:22:22 am)
    | Del All CHURCH HUMOR---.
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    1. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to
    be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

    2. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies
    are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

    3. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
    would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
    Sunday morning.

    4, Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
    Please use the back door.

    5. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir
    will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

    6. A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

    7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and
    community.

    8. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in
    the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to
    attend this tragedy.

    9. Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

    10. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of
    David, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Adams.

    11. Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies
    giving milk will please come early.

    12. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
    Music will follow.

    13. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is
    Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

    14. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
    Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

    15. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.

    16. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are
    preparing for the girth of their first child.

    17. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed
    potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a
    nominal feel.

    18. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing
    campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

    19. Our next song is "Angles We Have Heard Get High."

    20. Don't let worry kill you, let the church help.

    21. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
    nursery downstairs.

    22. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come
    forward and lay an egg on the altar.

    23. The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the
    ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

    24. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of
    several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

    25. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who
    enjoys sinning to join the choir.












    These bloopers are great! I'm still laughing. Just read a cute true
    story in the latest Readers' Digest. A woman was in her Church
    speaking to the congregation about something very close to her
    heart and became quite emotional during her speech. At the end,
    after some crying, she apologized saying,"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
    get so emotional. I'm not usually such a big boob." At which point the
    bishop stood up and said, "That's OK, we love big boobs."

    Winter11
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 106
    (7/13/01 11:31:56 am)
    | Del
    Re: CHURCH HUMOR---.
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    LOL ---

    How funny were they!!! Great - needed that - thanks!

    Winter

    Mithrandir
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 123
    (7/13/01 12:46:44 pm)
    | Del Re: CHURCH HUMOR---.
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    I think I just snorted Dr. pepper up my nose..........

    mt pari
    Moderator
    Posts: 119
    (7/14/01 3:20:56 am)
    | Del Re: CHURCH HUMOR---.
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    fantastic..good ones..

    homer4
    Moderator
    Posts: 1105
    (7/15/01 8:57:24 am)
    | Del Re: CHURCH HUMOR---.
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    Hhahahahaha! Atta boy Chief!!! Alot of good stuff there...Hehe!
    ...and two hard boiled eggs.
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