Company Christmas Party

Discussion in 'The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch' started by Guest, Mar 3, 2003.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    TShooters
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 723
    (11/29/01 11:10:05 am)
    | Del All
    Company Christmas Party
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    December 1

    TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

    I am happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
    place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots
    of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols... feel free
    to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as
    Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among
    employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.
    Merry Christmas to you and your family.

    Patty Lewis
    Human Resources Director

    - - - -

    December 2

    TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

    In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
    employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often
    coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However,
    from now on we are calling it our "Holiday Party". The same policy
    applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will
    be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung.
    Happy Holidays to you and your family.

    Patty Lewis
    Human Resources Director

    - - - -

    December 3

    TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

    Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics
    Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I am happy to accommodate this
    request, but don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads "AA
    Only", you won't be anonymous any more. In addition, forget about the
    gifts exchange -- no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel
    that $10 is too much money.

    Patty Lewis
    Human Researchers Director

    - - - -

    December 7

    TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

    I have arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest
    from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays
    are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the
    gay men; each will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower
    arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy now?

    Patty Lewis
    Human Racehorses Director

    - - - -

    December 9

    TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

    People, people -- nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO
    to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be
    "Satan", there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red
    suit".

    Patty Lewis
    Human Ratraces

    - - - -

    December 10

    TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

    Vegetarians - I've had it with you people!! We are going to hold
    this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not. You can just
    sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death", as you put it, and
    you will get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you
    know, tomatoes have feelings too. They scream when you slice them. I've
    heard them scream. I'm hearing them right now... HA! I hope you all have
    a rotten holiday. Drive drunk and die, you hear me?

    The Bitch from Hell

    - - - -

    December 14

    TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

    I am sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy
    recovery from her stress-related illness. I will continue to forward your
    cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided
    to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd
    off with full pay. Happy Holidays!

    Terri Bishop
    Acting Human Resources Director

    Winter11
    Moderator
    Posts: 463
    (11/29/01 11:43:43 am)
    | Del
    Re: Company Christmas Party
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA


    LMAO

    Sent that one around MY office....

    Awesome!!!

    Always Faithful

    Mithrandir
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 186
    (11/30/01 12:30:14 pm)
    | Del Re: Company Christmas Party
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ditto!!!!


    out...

    hope6970
    Moderator
    Posts: 682
    (12/5/01 11:20:45 pm)
    | Del Re: Company Christmas Party
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    That was funny Sharon, I don't have an office but will pass it around to a few of my friends. - Hope

    GRUNT
    Member
    Posts: 44
    (12/6/01 12:13:02 am)
    | Del
    Re: Company Christmas Party
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ROFLMBO!!! I just have to copy and paste that one. It sounds an awful lot like our company party (that we used to have) Thanks for the post....
Similar Threads
Forum Title Date
The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch CHEERS AT CHRISTMAS TIME.... Dec 24, 2010
The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch EXCELLENT RENDITION OF WHITE CHRISTMAS Dec 10, 2009
The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch a little Christmas humor(I Think?) Dec 16, 2003
The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch It's a week before Christmas Mar 4, 2003
The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch 12 Days Of Christmas Mar 3, 2003