Cows slain, suspects sought (long)

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by mrkirker, May 20, 2009.

  1. mrkirker

    mrkirker New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2007
    Messages:
    3,067
    In no way do I think this story is funny, however, because of the 'comments' following the story, I was moo-ved to post this. If anyone is offended, I'm sorry, but I just couldn't cow-er down and not share this . . .


    GREENEVILLE, Tenn. — An East Tennessee sheriff’s office is investigating the fatal shooting of two cows and a calf with a bow and arrow.

    The three were killed in fields in different locations in Greene County during the past two weeks.

    According to The Greeneville Sun, Sheriff Steve Burns said he expects to make arrests in the next few days.

    Each animal was valued at up to $1,000.

    More details as they develop online.


    68 Comments
    Posted by WhitePineVol77 on May 20, 2009 at 6:35 a.m.

    The folks doing this are indeed sorry individuals. They should be treated as rustlers were treated on the old TV shows...get a rope!

    ==
    Posted by cjensen on May 20, 2009 at 6:40 a.m.

    We are truly a bow-n-arrow....never mind.

    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 6:49 a.m.

    this part of the country is getting so violent.. even the cows arent safe

    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 6:53 a.m.

    ferdinand must have been mad and shot elsie and the kids then turned the bow on himself .is there a cow psychologist in the barn?

    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 7 a.m.

    in response to WhitePineVol77

    it is politically incorrect to make a noose these days. i say catch them and tie them to the meanest bull in the field

    ==
    Posted by deerman on May 20, 2009 at 7:15 a.m.

    in response to dawgboy21

    All you think about is romance.

    ==
    Posted by Blue_eyes on May 20, 2009 at 7:17 a.m.

    I hear one of the cows was a 6-pointer....

    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 7:17 a.m.

    circle up the wagons.. it's an injun attack

    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 7:19 a.m.

    in response to deerman

    ah yes me an bessie and a big haystack uh huh!


    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 7:24 a.m.

    maybe the fox has graduated from killing the chickens to bigger game

    ==
    Posted by delriomike on May 20, 2009 at 7:28 a.m.

    I know what it is, it is some of the FBI and TBI trying to get a raid organized against the Indians. PETA and HSUS has their panties in a wad over the Indians and they are wanting the law to raid them.

    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 7:32 a.m.

    in response to delriomike

    they have probably been to that indian casino. and lost all their funds and now are just trying to get even.

    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 7:36 a.m.

    i better quit making fun of this story before peta steps in and has me removed... cows do have feelings too

    ==
    Posted by delriomike on May 20, 2009 at 7:40 a.m.

    in response to dawgboy21

    I hear that they monoter KNS and they have been known to take violent steps like killing and burning houses of people that they dont like so be careful.

    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 7:42 a.m.

    in response to delriomike

    shh.dont tell them where i am


    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 7:44 a.m.

    maw the cows aren't coming home today

    ==
    Posted by jmr68ut on May 20, 2009 at 7:44 a.m.

    Now someone has a jihad against cows!!! What is the world coming too???

    ==
    Posted by chromehorn13 on May 20, 2009 at 7:44 a.m.

    so explain how these cows were shot by a bow?

    An arrow yes, bow no.

    If a firearm would have been used the headline would not have read "Cows shot by gun and bullet".



    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 7:56 a.m.

    it's a cowtastrophie

    ==
    Posted by docholliday1954 on May 20, 2009 at 8:01 a.m.

    OH no George,not the livestock!

    ==
    Posted by kimmyt on May 20, 2009 at 8:09 a.m.

    i hope they find who did it, but the sad thing is that our justice system works for the criminal, if they do catch who did this, they will slap them on the hand and let them out of jail before the ink dries on the paper they arrested them on.

    ==
    Posted by mcdl on May 20, 2009 at 8:18 a.m.

    OK, so you can shoot dogs on your property if'n they're bothering your livestock. What if the farmer had caught these people? Would he have gotten in trouble if he shot them? Wonder how the law works when the 'dogs' are dogs-disguised-as-humans.

    ==
    Posted by motherearth on May 20, 2009 at 8:23 a.m.

    in response to docholliday1954

    "Cowkiller!"

    That's the first thing that popped into my head, too; one of my favorite films...


    ==
    Posted by AllFiredUp on May 20, 2009 at 8:26 a.m.

    in response to dawgboy21

    P.E.T.A.

    People Eating Tasty Animals

    All God's creatures look best next to the mashed potatoes and gravy ;p


    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 8:36 a.m.

    in response to AllFiredUp

    and don't forget the peas and carrots .you must have your vegetables every day

    ==
    Posted by cracker__Jack on May 20, 2009 at 8:37 a.m.

    in response to chromehorn13

    "If a firearm would have been used the headline would not have read 'Cows shot by gun and bullet'".

    Lol!

    But it would read, "shot by a gun", right?

    So this article should read, "shot by a bow", with no mention of the arrow.


    ==
    Posted by SpongeBob on May 20, 2009 at 8:40 a.m.

    Eat more chikin. You don't think that a gang of rouge chickens has started attacking cows in response to all of the Chic-filet ads do you?


    ==
    Posted by mcdl on May 20, 2009 at 8:40 a.m.

    We're not dancing around the corpses, smearing blood all over ourselves and laughing. Would an appropriate response have been the oh-so-tired-and-frightfully-overused phrase, copy and pasted for convenience:
    "Thoughts and prayers go out to the friends and family of these cows."?

    Gawd, lighten up, they were destined for hamburger anyhoo. I think it's sad, I suspect it is some kid, I feel bad for the farmer, I hope it was a quick thing and that none of them suffered, I hope they catch the bad guy(s) and make 'em wish they'd never stepped in the field...

    If you can't laugh about bad things now and then, then you have to cry, and what good does that do? This + all the other sad things we read here just adds up and if you take everything all serious and let everything affect you like that, then you're destined for an early grave from either stress or suicide!!


    ==
    Posted by Danion on May 20, 2009 at 8:40 a.m.

    Maybe the cows need to start hiding at some place safe... I'd lke to volunteer my grill as a safe harbor! :)

    ==
    Posted by mnx on May 20, 2009 at 9:07 a.m.

    After you mentioned the cow scene in ND, I started thinking of Tina the llama.

    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 9:18 a.m.

    where the h**l is kung pow when you need him

    ==
    Posted by playinenthebanned on May 20, 2009 at 9:22 a.m.

    The Greenville investigator thinks someone raped the cows and killed them to cover up the crime. The investigator reported that he didn't have any DNA evidence but you could hear faint Banjo music in the distance.

    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 9:23 a.m.

    some one; some where; is having a large cookout today

    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 9:26 a.m.

    in response to pdaniel

    my GOD cows are dying here

    ==
    Posted by AtticusRex on May 20, 2009 at 9:33 a.m.

    in response to docholliday1954

    Beat me to it. Gotta love Oh Brother Where Art Thou

    ==
    Posted by Gyno_American on May 20, 2009 at 9:36 a.m.

    Hey, I didn't know it was bovine season! Here cow, cow, cow!

    ==
    Posted by grimrpr on May 20, 2009 at 9:36 a.m.

    This is just great, now even more cows are going to migrate to California... to be with the other "happy cows".

    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 9:43 a.m.

    in response to grimrpr

    theres a train leavin today and we gonna be on it
    signed
    the cows of east tennessee


    ==
    Posted by horselady on May 20, 2009 at 9:45 a.m.

    Glad that all of you find this so entertaining...have you priced cattle these days, and exactly who will pay for the replacement cost...the farmer. BUT keep up the sparkling wit that is so well known in upper ET.


    ==
    Posted by dweezil12 on May 20, 2009 at 9:46 a.m.

    A representative for the cows:"once we grow thumbs you humans are GOING DOWN."

    ==
    Posted by grimrpr on May 20, 2009 at 9:46 a.m.

    Sounds like a new sport, "extreme cow tipping". Or "Permanant Tipping", we even shorten it down to "permatip".

    ==
    Posted by grimrpr on May 20, 2009 at 9:51 a.m.

    Whats next? The horse's? I hope they have the new horse processing plant open before something like that happens.


    ==
    Posted by cracker__Jack on May 20, 2009 at 9:55 a.m.

    You folks are going to milk this story for all it's worth, right?
    I'm going to come back later and just skim off the cream.


    "The three were killed in fields"

    They weren't kept in a barn, that's good. I like my milk pasture-ized


    ==
    Posted by cracker__Jack on May 20, 2009 at 9:59 a.m.

    in response to grimrpr

    KNS bans me for "Sacred cow tipping".

    ==
    Posted by oldoldtimer on May 20, 2009 at 10:01 a.m.

    in response to grimrpr

    9:51 Speaking of processing plants. I went by my local meat processor to get some dog bones. They are no longer allowed to sell them or give them away. They are unsafe. Mad cow disease. Starting in July they can not process any beef over 2 1/2 years old and you must have documentation as to age. The reason given was Mad Cow Disease prevention. Is our Gov lying to us? I thought we had no Mad Cow Disease in this country. So why the age restriction? What is the Gov hiding from the consumer and the world? If there is no Mad Cow danger why such stringent measures?

    ==
    Posted by cracker__Jack on May 20, 2009 at 10:03 a.m.

    in response to dweezil12

    Lol. Cows already have the vote in Ca. They're organized, and they've begun milking the public.

    ==
    Posted by volfan on May 20, 2009 at 10:03 a.m.

    Some farmer, probably struggling like most of them are these days, has just lost ~$3,000 and we
    make joke of it? C'mon folks, get real! Would your levity be so bold if you had just lost that amount of money. Some sorry excuse for man has taken leave of their senses...if they ever had any. I hope the judge, when and if the culprit is found and tried, will award the farmer triple restitution for this senseless act. Not only has the farmer lost some of his cattle, now he has the burden of burying them...another expense.


    ==
    Posted by grimrpr on May 20, 2009 at 10:05 a.m.

    in response to oldoldtimer

    Maybe these 3 cows were the last ones with mad cow disease, and it was a gov controlled hit. I smell a cow-ver up

    ==
    Posted by lemmy999 on May 20, 2009 at 10:21 a.m.

    in response to WhitePineVol77

    "The folks doing this are indeed sorry individuals. They should be treated as rustlers were treated on the old TV shows...get a rope!"

    We are truly a rope-crazed nation.


    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 10:22 a.m.

    in response to volfan

    I'm sure some of us lost more than that with the current stocks the way they are ,while it may not be LIVE stock it is still a big joke that we may as well laugh about and deal with

    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 10:28 a.m.

    in response to dawgboy21

    while I could find a tall building to take a short leap off of ...I would rather sit here and poke fun at this story
    ==
    Posted by CityWatch on May 20, 2009 at 10:46 a.m.

    I think the culprits are the chickens from "Chick Filet"

    ==
    Posted by Danion on May 20, 2009 at 10:56 a.m.

    Google the song "Cows With Guns"... it seems fitting somehow.

    ==
    Posted by cracker__Jack on May 20, 2009 at 11:02 a.m.

    Let's focus on what's important.

    Was this a hate crime?

    Were anti-bovine epithets hurled at these poor beasts?


    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 11:11 a.m.

    in response to cracker__Jack

    Was this a hate crime?
    maybe.first we need to determine what the profile of a kow killer is
    someone who likes steak and pot roast??? we may never know


    ==
    Posted by Demosthenes on May 20, 2009 at 11:11 a.m.

    Cows and their silly suicide pacts..

    ==
    Posted by dawgboy21 on May 20, 2009 at 11:21 a.m.

    in response to cracker__Jack

    Were anti-bovine epithets hurled at these poor beasts?
    the cows aren't talking; this is Tennessee, only cows from Cowlifornia can talk


    ==
    Posted by playinenthebanned on May 20, 2009 at 11:49 a.m.

    in response to cracker__Jack

    Were the cows black?
    Have Jessie and Al been notified? Is the NAABC (national association for the advancement of black cows) going to hold sensitivity training? This is a redneck county these black cows were probably seeing white cows and it inflamed the locals. You know what they say "once you go black angus you'll never go back" a national investigation is called for..


    ==
    Posted by Danion on May 20, 2009 at 11:52 a.m.

    I still think it was the chickens from Chik-Fil-A getting revenge. I'll bet 3:1 that they used a hit pig...

    ==
    Posted by CityWatch on May 20, 2009 at 12:06 p.m.

    in response to playinenthebanned

    "Were the cows black?"

    No, they were white heferes, so call out the hooded arian brothers that we are so infested with.

    ==
    Posted by ksherr0 on May 20, 2009 at 12:09 p.m.

    in response to playinenthebanned

    i was literally laughing out loud, that is the best post ever!!

    this story is utterly ridiculous!


    ==
    Posted by playinenthebanned on May 20, 2009 at 12:10 p.m.

    in response to Danion

    Posted by Danion on May 20, 2009 at 11:52 a.m.

    "I still think it was the chickens from Chik-Fil-A getting revenge. I'll bet 3:1 that they used a hit pig..."

    I'll have you to know; I raise pigs and that is defamation of character. Pigs are in the loan and restaurant business, it has never been proven that a pig was involved in a death of the contractual nature. That is purely speculation. That story about the big bad wolf's death is strictly hearsay. Our attorney **** ******** will vigorously pursue any derogatory claims against these legitimate business pigs...
  2. Islandboy

    Islandboy New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2009
    Messages:
    676
    Location:
    Off the right coast
    Infriggincredible!!
    Hilarious.
    Where in earth did you find this?, Cause I'll bet they're still posting!!
  3. mrkirker

    mrkirker New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2007
    Messages:
    3,067
    I'm kinda sad to admit that it was in our local newspaper, "The Knoxville News - Sentinel"

    The sheriff has made three arrests in this matter. Here's hoping they get some time in the local pokey. I have visited someone that particular jail; it was constructed sometime in the late 1890's, and is not a particularly nice place to spend the summer: Damp, Dark, no A/C; and they don't seperate the "Group W's" from the general populace! :eek:
  4. woolleyworm

    woolleyworm Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2009
    Messages:
    4,963
    Location:
    SW Fort Worth
    that's some darn funny stuff. reminds me of when we had an HEB ( grocery store) truck that was found full of pot, the truck wasn't an official company truck though, the pot smugglers painted it to look like one and got caught. There were plenty of funny comments after that one. like ...

    "either way,........... I got the munchies ! "

    which store was that truck heading to ??

    H Higher
    E Everything's
    B Better

    the company has a slogan that "here everythngs better"
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