Deer Hunting Season revisited

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Lori Mick, Nov 26, 2009.

  1. Lori Mick

    Lori Mick New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2008
    Messages:
    2,374
    Location:
    Stuck in Upstate NY for a while
    Ok....so last year somebody here posted this story and after I got done reading it, I had tears in my eyes and my ribs hurt from laughin so hard.
    I was thinking about it just now and tried to find the old post but I didn't have any luck.....so I'm posting a copy.

    Enjoy!! hehehe

    In recognition of deer season now upon us-

    I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it
    in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then
    kill it and eat it.
    The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I
    figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder
    and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are
    there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff
    at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck
    not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one,
    get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it
    down) then hog-tie it and transport it home.
    I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with
    my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing
    before, stayed well back. They were not having any of
    it.
    After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of
    them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from
    the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer
    just stood there and stared at me.
    I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end
    so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood
    and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly
    concerned about the whole rope situation.
    I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a
    little tension on the rope and then received an
    education.

    The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may
    just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it,
    they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that
    rope.
    That deer EXPLODED.
    The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a
    deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a
    colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope
    and with some dignity.
    A deer? No chance.
    That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There
    was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it.
    As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me
    across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer
    on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had
    originally imagined.
    The only upside is that they do not have as much
    stamina as many other animals.

    A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as
    quick to take me off my feet and drag me when I
    managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize
    this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out
    of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost
    my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get
    that devil creature off the end of that rope.
    I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around
    its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully
    somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all
    between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated
    the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling
    was mutual.
    Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots
    where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by
    bracing my head against various large rocks as it
    dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly
    enough to recognize that there was a small chance that
    I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the
    situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have
    to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined
    back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little
    trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze
    chute.
    I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I
    could get my rope back.
    Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a
    million years would have thought that a deer would bite
    somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up
    there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of
    my wrist.
    Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a
    horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer
    bites you and shakes its head -- almost like a pit bull.
    They bite HARD and it hurts.
    The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is
    probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried
    screaming and shaking instead. My method was
    ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and
    shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only
    several seconds.
    I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be
    questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept
    it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I
    reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
    That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior
    for the day.
    Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear
    right up on their back feet and strike right about head
    and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly
    sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal,
    like a horse, strikes at you with their hooves and you
    can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to
    make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards
    the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a
    bit so you can escape.
    This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such
    trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond,
    I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman
    and tried to turn and run.
    The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn
    and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a
    good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head.
    Deer may not be so different from horses after all,
    besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil,
    because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in
    the back of the head and knocked me down.
    Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it
    does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not
    recognize that the danger has passed. What they do
    instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you
    while you are laying there crying like a little girl and
    covering your head.
    I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer
    went away.
    So, now I know why people go deer hunting with a rifle
    with a scope. They try to sort of even the odds.
  2. FTK87

    FTK87 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2009
    Messages:
    481
    Location:
    Chouteau, Oklahoma
    lol thats a great one
  3. zb338

    zb338 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2009
    Messages:
    286
    Location:
    Recently moved to Pennsylvania.
    I guess that taught him to never mess with a killer deer.
    Must have been a Texas deer. They eat coyotes for dinner.

    Zeke
  4. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2006
    Messages:
    3,330
    Location:
    South Central Texas
    Thanks, I've read it before, but never gets old.:D:D:D:D:D
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