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Did anybody else get a census form like this

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by jestor, May 5, 2010.

  1. jestor

    jestor New Member

    Aug 18, 2009
    2010 CENSUS for rednecks

    Last name: ________________

    First name: (Check appropriate box)
    (_) Billy-Bob
    (_) Billy-Joe
    (_) Billy-Ray
    (_) Billy-Sue
    (_) Billy-Mae
    (_) Billy-Jack

    What does everyone call you?
    (_) Booger
    (_) Bubba
    (_) Junior
    (_) Sissy
    (_) Other___________________

    Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)

    Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure

    Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

    Occupation: (Check appropriate box)
    (_) Farmer
    (_) Mechanic
    (_) Hair Dresser
    (_) Unemployed
    (_) Dirty Politician
    (_) Preacher

    Spouse’s Name:_________________________
    2nd Spouse’s Name:______________________
    3rd Spouse’s Name:______________________
    Lover’s Name:___________________________

    Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box)
    (_) Sister
    (_) Brother
    (_) Aunt
    (_) Uncle
    (_) Cousin
    (_) Mother
    (_) Father
    (_) Son
    (_) Daughter
    (_) Pet

    Number of children living in household: _____
    Number of children living in shed: ______
    Number that are yours: ______

    Mother’s Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)
    Father’s Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)
    Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

    Do you (_) own or (_) rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)

    Total number of vehicles you own: ___
    Number of vehicles that still crank: ___
    Number of vehicles in front yard: ___
    Number of vehicles in back yard: ___
    Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___

    Firearms you own and where you keep them:
    ____ truck
    ____ bedroom
    ____ bathroom
    ____ kitchen
    ____ shed

    Model and year of your pickup: 196_

    Do you have a gun rack?
    (_) Yes (_) No; If no, please explain:

    Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
    (_) The National Enquirer
    (_) The Globe
    (_) TV Guide
    (_) Soap Opera Digest
    (_) Rifle and Shotgun

    Number of times you’ve seen a UFO:_____
    Number of times in the last 5 years you’ve seen Elvis:_____
    Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO:_____

    How often do you bathe:
    (_) Weekly
    (_) Monthly
    (_) Not Applicable

    Color of eyes:
    Left______ Right_____

    Color of hair:
    (_) Blond
    (_) Black
    (_) Red
    (_) Brown
    (_) White
    (_) Clairol

    Color of teeth:
    (_) Yellow
    (_) Brownish-Yellow
    (_) Brown
    (_) Black
    (_) N/A

    Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:

    How far is your home from a paved road?
    (_) 1 mile
    (_) 2 miles
    (_) just a whoop-and-a-holler
    (_) road?
  2. navis128

    navis128 New Member

    Sep 15, 2009
    I started laughing when the cursor rolled over the title and the little window popped up.

    That is a kick in the pants Dude, 'cept for the dirt road one :D:D:D
    Last edited: May 5, 2010
  3. Trouble 45-70

    Trouble 45-70 New Member

    Apr 10, 2009
    NE Ar. W. of Black River
    Like it.
    Last edited: May 6, 2010
  4. wpage

    wpage Active Member

    Aug 25, 2009
    That is beautiful!
  5. jim summers

    jim summers Active Member

    Jul 13, 2008
    I reside in southern Indiana, you can almost step
    Them poor rednecks catch hell all the time.
  6. Pixcutter

    Pixcutter Member

    Jan 12, 2010
    Los Angeles, California
    Where's the California version (you know, in 9 different languages)?
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