Divorce Agreement!

Discussion in 'The Fire For Effect and Totally Politically Incorr' started by sting75ray, Jun 8, 2012.

  1. sting75ray

    sting75ray Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2011
    Messages:
    1,311
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    Divorce Agreement! THIS IS AWESOME!!! AMEN, AMEN, AMEN
    > >
    > > Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and coffee to $2.00 per pound maybe this would be a solution we could live with. DIVORCE AGREEMENT -- This is so incredibly well-put, and I can hardly believe it's by a young person, a student!! Whatever he runs for, I'll vote for him!
    > > * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, regressive, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et. al.:
    > >
    > > We have stuck together since the late 1950’s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
    > >
    > > Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
    > >
    > > Here is a model separation agreement:
    > >
    > > 1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes.
    > >
    > > 2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.
    > >
    > > 3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
    > >
    > > 4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.
    > >
    > > 5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.
    > >
    > > 6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
    > >
    > > 7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.
    > >
    > > 8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.
    > >
    > > 9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
    > >
    > > 10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood ..
    > >
    > > 11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
    > >
    > > 12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
    > >
    > > 13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
    > >
    > > 14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
    > >
    > > 15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
    > >
    > > 16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors..
    > >
    > > 17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is an earned luxury and not a right.
    > >
    > > 18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
    > >
    > > 19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine," "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing,” "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World."
    > >
    > > 20. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
    > >
    > > 21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.
    > >
    > > 22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
    > >
    > > Sincerely,
    > > John J. Wall
    > > Law Student and an American
    > >
    > > P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you.
    > >
    > > P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.
    > >
    > > Forward this every time you get it! Let's keep this going; maybe some of it will start sinking in!
    > >
    > > **If you can't stand behind our Military, Please feel free to stand in front of them! **
  2. whymememe

    whymememe Former Guest

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2011
    Messages:
    1,441
    Location:
    FEMA Region IV
    One thing the Civil War proved is this nation cannot and will not exist divided. Send that boy back to school.

    Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
    Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
    But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth
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