Don't mess with Texas

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Sig Willy, Dec 2, 2012.

  1. Sig Willy

    Sig Willy Member

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    The governor from California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the governor's dog, then bites the governor. The governor starts to intervene, but then reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

    He calls animal control. Animal control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases.

    The governor goes to the hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and getting his bite wound bandaged.

    The running trail gets shut down for six months while the California Fish and Game Department conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

    The governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "Coyote Awareness Program" for residents of the area. The Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

    The governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training, re: the nature of coyotes.

    People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.

    By coincidence, he governor of Texas is also jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and tries to attack him and his dog. The governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging.

    The governor spent 50 cents on a .380-caliber, hollow-point cartridge. Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

    And that is why California is broke and Texas is not.
  2. ejkoechling

    ejkoechling Well-Known Member

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    lol. so true
  3. JohnHenry

    JohnHenry Well-Known Member

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    Hummm ...... The gov. of Texas with a .380 ?
    I would have expected him to carry a .45 ACP .
  4. reflex1

    reflex1 Active Member

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    Or a .44 magnum! :)
  5. gvw3

    gvw3 Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    I grew up in this area when it was all farm land and I never saw a coyote. Now they are all over. Now the lib's won't let you shoot them. We had one a block from the house last week that was as big as my dog's.

    Maybe they will learn after a small child gets tore up. They are already killing small dogs and cat's around here.
  6. JohnHenry

    JohnHenry Well-Known Member

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    gvw3 .... Keep in mind the "Three S's' .... Shoot, Shovel, and Shut-up" .

    What some of "them" don't know won't hurt you !
  7. jedwil

    jedwil Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    He was jogging. .380 is more comfy in running shorts.
  8. Deputy Dawg

    Deputy Dawg Active Member

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    Long Live Texas.....:D
  9. RJay

    RJay Well-Known Member

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    :) The first time that joke made the rounds ( about a year ago ) it was featuring the Governor of Arizona, Jan Brewer, based on the fact she did shoot a coyote while jogging. ( she does carry while jogging). :) Moral, Don't mess with Arizona, Poor Texans, they have to steal jokes from other states.:D
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2012
  10. jedwil

    jedwil Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    I don't recall the AZ Gov shooting a coyote but here is a link to Rick Perry's feat:http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2010/04/27/20100427texas-governor-shoots-coyote.html
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