France Bashing...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by glocknut, Jun 30, 2006.

  1. glocknut

    glocknut New Member

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    THE FORUM MASCOTT...
    France bashing is apparently still alive and well.................

    France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from
    these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been
    governed by prostitutes."

    --Mark Twain

    ------------------------------

    "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French
    one behind me."

    --General George S. Patton

    ------------------------------

    "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without
    your accordion."

    --Norman Schwartzkopf

    ------------------------------

    "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about
    it."

    --Marge Simpson

    ------------------------------

    "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."

    --Jacques Chirac, President of France

    "As far as France is concerned, you're right."

    --Rush Limbaugh

    ------------------------------

    "The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army
    is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."

    --Regis Philbin

    ------------------------------

    "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any
    better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit
    outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more
    stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whisky I
    don't know."

    --P.J. O'Rourke (1989)

    ------------------------------

    "You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of
    the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't
    have the face for it."

    -- John McCain , U.S. Senator from Arizona

    ------------------------------

    "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because
    he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is
    French, people."

    --Conan O'Brien

    ------------------------------

    "I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us
    get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler
    out of France either."

    --Jay Leno

    ------------------------------

    "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching
    into Paris under a German flag."

    --David Letterman

    ------------------------------

    "Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in
    Canada."

    --Ted Nugent

    ------------------------------

    "War without France would be like ... World War II."

    --Unknown

    ------------------------------

    "The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one
    that says 'First Iraq, then France.'"

    --Tom Brokaw

    ------------------------------

    "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of
    its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the
    Nazis?"

    --Dennis Miller

    ------------------------------

    "It is important to remember that the French have always been there
    when they needed us."

    --Alan Kent

    -----------------------------

    "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare
    for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white
    flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."

    --Argus Hamilton

    ------------------------------

    "Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was
    being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never
    shot. Dropped once.'"

    --Rep. Roy Blunt, MO

    -----------------------------

    "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've
    found truffles in Iraq ."

    --Dennis Miller

    ------------------------------

    "Raise your right hand if you like the French, ... raise both hands
    if you are French."

    --Unknown

    ------------------------------

    Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they
    entered the city in WWII?

    A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?

    -----------------------------

    "Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris ? It's not
    known, it's never been tried."

    --Rep. R. Blount, MO

    ------------------------------

    "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in
    WWII? And that's because it was raining."

    --John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv

    ------------------------------

    The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after
    the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run
    to Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and
    Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent
    fire which destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively
    disabling their military.

    ------------------------------

    French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney

    (AP), Paris, March 5, 2003

    The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on
    the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after
    a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside
    of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to
    surrender to a group of Czech tourists.
  2. southernshooter

    southernshooter New Member

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  3. berto64

    berto64 Active Member

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    I never stop loving to hear those! Funnny AND true!
  4. M95

    M95 New Member

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    funny
  5. Marlin T

    Marlin T Active Member

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    That is a good one Glock
  6. rosierita

    rosierita New Member

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  7. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

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    At SouthernMoss' side forever!
    Nice collection of truths, GN. Thank you for the chuckle !!!!!
  8. dcon12

    dcon12 Active Member Supporting Member

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    Nice, something I can agree with you on. Don
  9. SouthernMoss

    SouthernMoss *Admin Tech Staff*

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  10. glocknut

    glocknut New Member

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    THE FORUM MASCOTT...
    Oh, we agree on alot of stuff Don. Our love of guns for starters... :)

    mike
    gn
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