From Craig's List .........

Discussion in 'The Fire For Effect and Totally Politically Incorr' started by JohnHenry, Nov 2, 2011.

  1. JohnHenry

    JohnHenry Well-Known Member

    AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD


    To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
    Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.
    I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
    First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan.. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
    I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
    After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
    I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
    I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
    Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
    The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
    ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
    Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,
    Alex
     
  2. jack404

    jack404 Former Guest

    Jan 11, 2010
    Australia

  3. jstgsn

    jstgsn Well-Known Member

    Nov 1, 2009
    Milford, Delaware
    two thunbs up.
     
  4. jlloyd73

    jlloyd73 Active Member

    Nov 28, 2010
  5. terryu1

    terryu1 Armed Infidel

    Oct 16, 2009
    NE Pennsylvania
  6. H-D

    H-D Active Member

    Jun 20, 2011
    Mississippi
  7. Brisk44

    Brisk44 New Member

    Mar 6, 2011
    Iowa
    Love the way that guy thinks.
     
  8. rcairflr

    rcairflr Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2011
    Wichita, Ks
    Yes, I;m with you. I like the way the writer of this ficticious story thinks. But the truth is that it is fiction. This was never a Craigs list aid, it was a story created with the internet boom.
     
  9. American Leader

    American Leader Well-Known Member

    Mar 1, 2011
    Iowa
    Still like it JH, thanks for the post.
     
  10. HunterAlpha1

    HunterAlpha1 Former Guest

    Aug 8, 2011
    Yorktown, VA
    please be quiet, Mr. Par T. Pooper
     
  11. dustydog

    dustydog New Member

    209
    Sep 2, 2011
    Priceless..............
     
  12. rcairflr

    rcairflr Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2011
    Wichita, Ks
    :(Sorry, I did mean to ruin everyones party.....
     
  13. geds

    geds New Member

    Mar 27, 2011
    Even if not true, it is what we all wish would happen under similar circumstances!
     
  14. CampingJosh

    CampingJosh Well-Known Member

    Sep 25, 2007
    Indiana
    I'm sure you're right, but I doubt there is more fiction in here than in most online "personal" ads. ;)
     
  15. howlnmad

    howlnmad Well-Known Member Supporting Member

    Nov 26, 2008
    Harriman, Tn
    I've seen that posted somewhere awhile back. It still makes me chuckle.
     
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