Funny Gun Stories

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by 1 CAV, Aug 23, 2009.

  1. 1 CAV

    1 CAV New Member

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    Ok, we had the gun liars thread. Now lets share the funny gun stories thread. I am again taken back to my active duty military days. Those of us in my company that carried the M203 had to qualify with the grenade launcher. For those that don't know, this is an M203

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    Of course back then we didn't have fancy optics and adjustable stocks. Oh well. At any rate, we get to the range to fire the grenade launcher and the procedure was to fire several practice rounds before firing live grenades for qualification. The practice rounds are filled with an orange powder that bursts into a bright orange cloud on impact. Now for those of you not familiar with M203 rounds there is one pertinent fact you should know. A real .203 HE (High Explosive) round has to rotate seven times before the explosive activates. This prevents you from blowing yourself up if you discharge one and it hits something close by. By the time it rotates seven times it is a safe distance away from you. But the practice rounds are not equipped that way. You see where this is going.

    So we had this new female private who had been assigned a .203. Why I don't know because she lacked the upper body strength needed to carry an M203 plus a bandolier full of 40mm rounds. It was yet one more example of Army logic, lol. Anyway, we had been filling her head full of lies about how she better be real careful with the HE rounds so she didn't blow herself to Kingdom come. She was nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs by the time we got to the range. We had all fired our practice rounds and she of course went last in an effort to avoid the inevitable as long as possible. So she makes her way up to the firing point with 4 practice rounds. It was a sandbag position that you had to lay behind and fire from the prone. Sure enough she wasn't paying attention during the block of instruction about how to aim the launcher. She aims it wrong, the barrel is too low and the round strikes the sandbags. Orange powder went everywhere. She dropped the weapon and comes blazing out of this orange cloud just cussing a blue streak. lol I was laughing so hard I fell off the bleachers. She was covered in orange powder, cussed all of us as a group and then cussed some of us individually for excessive laughing. She refused to fire the HE rounds. The unit had to assign her weapon to someone else and she got a regular M16 instead.
  2. Trouble 45-70

    Trouble 45-70 New Member

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    Not quite so funny but on the same topic. My #3 son was in Kosovo when someone accidentally fired an HE round while on patrol. The Clinton administration involved itself in squad tactics by ordering the weapons to be carried empty and all rounds in the vest taped down with enoug 100 Mile per hour tape to require at least 10 sec. to free a round. Seems like if you need one of these you might need it pretty quick. Too bad a politician can get in office without putting in several missions that require considerable time on point. The really stupid ones should go pretty quick.
  3. delta13soultaker

    delta13soultaker New Member

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    I have 2 on the 203:

    1. When I was a Drill Sergeant, around 50% of the recruits at that post were females. They don't have M4's there, except like 5 per company, and all the 203's from the weapon pool came on M16As....so they're long. Privates called them muskets after seeing the M4.

    Most females could shot that fine. BUT, out of every platoon there are a few who don't have the reach, so they tuck the stock way too far inside to use the ladder site. Even after watching the girl in front of her bust her lip firing 5 practice rounds, they still line up, tilt their face down, boom and SMACK their mouth with the reciever or carrying handle.

    So after that range I always had a handful of females walking around with a fat lip like they refused to wash the dishes that I called my Alabama Trailer Park Girls.

    2. In a cemetery, my mate helped us learn that a 40mm HEDP at about 6 feet will kill a surprised tommie (feeling was more than mutual) as fast as anything else. No exit wound, prolly a finger could've touched it. EOD wanted to blow whole body in place so nobody might cut it out and make a device out of it later.

    "David, why'd you shoot him with a grenade?"

    "Wasn't my first choice either."
  4. JLA

    JLA Well-Known Member

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    Heres one from the gunsmiths side of life... We were at the gunshop, My wife and I, picking up some guns for repair (I do all the repairs for Burleson Great Guns). I had gathered my repair roster and was just fixin to leave when a regular customer came in and proceeded looking at the 1911s. He decided he was going to buy a rock island govt model, but before he purchased it he wanted me to show him how to take it apart for cleaning. So I began the field stripping procedure. Depressed the recoil plug, rotate the barrel bushing clockwise, remove recoil spring and plug, rotate barrel bushing counter clockwise, remove bushing, pull slide half way to the rear so as to line up the recess cut in the slide with the hump in the slide stop, pop out slide stop and remove slide from frame.... except the slide wouldnt come off... so sensing a problem, Stuart (the gun shop owner) eases over the aide. I reassemble, and check function. Everything A-ok. So stuart says, these new guns can be a booger to get apart at times. It all goes away after the first hundred rounds or so... Then he begins the breakdown procedure. depresses plug, rotates clockwise, removes recoil spring and guide, etc. etc. etc. and low and behold he gets down to the slide coming off and . . . . nope its stuck. at this point were both scratching our heads. "what the hell?" had just come out of my mouth when my wife, who had been standing there quietly minding her business conversing with Stuarts wife walks over and says; Dear, aren't you supposed to remove the magazine first???

    I tell ya, I was PROUDLY DISGUSTED... My wife is AWESOME!
  5. Suwannee Tim

    Suwannee Tim New Member

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    Not a gun story, a woman story. I grew up around airports, three to be exact, Imeson, Craig and Herlong. We were at Herlong Field one day and this lady student pilot was going to solo. Soloing is a big deal so we are all watching. She does her takeoff roll, climbs out and just as she clears the trees she looses power and descends out of sight. Oh crap! OH CRAP! She's killed herself! We jump in the cars and go racing out to the road and down to the gate, shoot the lock off, go racing in and find the airplane! Sitting pretty as you please on it's wheels with the engine idling. The lady pilot is nowhere to be seen as she has taken off on foot, cross country, back to the field and her car where she makes her escape, without a word, never to be seen again. After an inspection, somebody flew the airplane out and back to Herlong.:D
  6. Suwannee Tim

    Suwannee Tim New Member

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    Where in the heck is Hota Shell Texas? Can't find it on the map.......:p
  7. Suwannee Tim

    Suwannee Tim New Member

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    I once saw a guy shooting a muzzle loading pistol on the range. He cleaned it, loaded it and fired. The barrel jumped out of the stock and smacked him in the head, darned near knocking him out and fell on the floor with a clang. He forgot to put the wedge back in.:D
  8. JLA

    JLA Well-Known Member

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    halfway between Hotternhell and Mightaswellbehell TX. Here we only have 4 seasons... Hot, hotter, really hot, and youve got to be kidding me...;)
  9. dew38

    dew38 New Member

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    seen a guy shooting a 444 mag with a scope did not have the eye relief set right he got a great cut over his eye for his efforts. :D:D:D
  10. Alpo

    Alpo Well-Known Member

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    I was thinking about buying an ADC Derringer. A friend had one he was using for a carry gun, and let me try it. 45 Colt. Took it out to the range. Checked the loads. Lowered the barrels. Cocked it. Fired it. Hellacious recoil. When I came down out of recoil, saw the barrels were pointed at my face :eek:. When I had lowered the barrels I had forgotten to latch it. Bullet, apparently, made it out of the barrel before they tipped over backwards to point at me. Oops. :eek:
  11. Alpo

    Alpo Well-Known Member

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    Only tommy I know of is a British soldier. Doesn't seem to apply here. Care to explain?
  12. delta13soultaker

    delta13soultaker New Member

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    Yeah it's actually a generic word used for other guy, paid type, bottom of the barrel, work for the highest bidder, may be local but normally not, might be Anglo or African. Absolutely not to imply British service. Sorry for confusion. Can't say mercs anymore because we have our own these days.
  13. Maximilian II

    Maximilian II New Member

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    Now, now. We don't hire mercs, we hire "Contractors." I've met a couple of them, the ones I talked to were pretty OK to hang out with at least. One of them I trust enough to watch his back.
    I guess they're pretty much like any other group of humans, a mixed bag.
  14. delta13soultaker

    delta13soultaker New Member

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    I'm willing to bet, in fact I know, that the ones you met were an entirely different animal than the ones I was referring to.


    Yes, contractor is the new generic catch-all nomenclature.

    It's like back when we used the word 'operator'. It was just a legally correct word, because saying 'agent' could erode international protection offered to military personnel, but 'Soldier' implied a slightly different pool too, so operator was best, because anyone can operate anything without causing legal implications. You can be a pen operator. Today, the word is so popular that everyone is an operator who has a weapon.

    Now 'contractor' is dubbed on any cook, mechanic, intel analyst, human resource manager, truck driver, body guard, or sniper that is hired by a private company under DoD contract. Inside the 'contractor' side, there technically are mercs.

    Mercs are good guys. Tommies are bad...like paid skinnies...and I'm not talking about in Trashcanistan, but a different continent.
  15. Suwannee Tim

    Suwannee Tim New Member

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    Don't complain JLA, the heat helps keep down the fleas, ticks, mosquitos, Yankees and Sooners.
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