GED Examination Questions ansered by 16 yr olds

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Capt Mac Turk, Jan 3, 2012.

  1. Capt Mac Turk

    Capt Mac Turk New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2011
    Messages:
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    Location:
    So Fla-- NO place to Shoot AKA "TFF" Posting Clo
    The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
    These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds) .... and they WILL breed.

    Q. Name the four seasons
    A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

    Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
    A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

    Q. How is dew formed
    A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

    Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
    A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

    Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
    A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

    Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
    A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

    Q. What are steroids
    A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

    Q.. What happens to your body as you age
    A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

    Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
    A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

    Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
    A. Premature death

    Q. What is artificial insemination
    A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

    Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
    A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

    Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)
    A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!)

    Q. What is the fibula?
    A. A small lie

    Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
    A. Nearby

    Q. What is the most common form of birth control
    A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

    Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
    A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

    Q. What is a seizure?
    A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

    Q. What is a terminal illness
    A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

    Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
    A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

    Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
    A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

    Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
    A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

    Q. What is a turbine?
    A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head.



    And these people vote and breed..........Lord save us !!!!!!!!!!!

    (I don't want to know if you think all these answers were right)
    =
  2. Eddie N

    Eddie N New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2009
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    Colorado
    I thought ketchup was one of the four seasons.:eek::D
  3. jstgsn

    jstgsn Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2009
    Messages:
    1,745
    Location:
    Milford, Delaware
    No, the four seasons was an early motown group. Come on, catchup.
    Glad they didn't ask them where money comes from. :eek:
  4. hunter29180

    hunter29180 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2011
    Messages:
    1,954
    Location:
    in a motorhome where ever we park!
    used to be trees, but the new way is lazer printer, because the treehuggers complained about the defoiliation of the forest!:eek:
  5. Gun Geezer

    Gun Geezer Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2009
    Messages:
    1,856
    Location:
    Central Florida
    We are so screwed!
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