Hickbonics

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by SouthernMoss, May 1, 2005.

  1. SouthernMoss

    SouthernMoss *Admin Tech Staff*

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    HICKBONICS
    The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or Hickbonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone. The following are excerpts from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:


    HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.


    HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
    Usage: Heidi, Hire yew?"


    BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
    Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."


    JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capital is Lanner.
    Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."


    BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
    Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."


    MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
    Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."


    THANK - (verb) - Ability to cognitively process.
    Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."


    BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
    Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."


    IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
    Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"


    RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
    Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."


    ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
    Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."


    FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
    Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."


    TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
    Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tarin my pickup truck."


    TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
    Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."


    RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
    Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."


    FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
    Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."


    RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
    Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."


    FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
    Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some farn country."


    DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
    Usage: "He's did, Jim."


    EAR - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen.
    Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ear!"


    BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
    Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."


    JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
    Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"


    HAZE - a contraction.
    Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."


    SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".


    VIEW - contraction: (verb) and pronoun.
    Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?"


    GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
    Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."



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    I guess I've been around hicks too long... I unnerstan ever one uh dese. :D
  2. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

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    At SouthernMoss' side forever!
    So TRUE, Hon.

    SO VERY TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!


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  3. armedandsafe

    armedandsafe Guest

    YAYAH! Ah unstan thet there stuff.

    Pops
  4. GunnFixr

    GunnFixr New Member

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    Battle Creek, MI
    heh, heh.

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