Highboy.......

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Country101, Oct 13, 2012.

  1. Country101

    Country101 Active Member

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    Are ya dead......? ;)

    How'd your surgery go?
  2. JLA

    JLA Well-Known Member

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    Yeah. Aint heard from ya.. BTW, your honorary brisket was delicious!
  3. time2shoot

    time2shoot Active Member

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    he has poped in and out a couple times.
    I'm shure the pain pills keep him realy tiered. Give him a couple days he will be back on making every one laugh.
    thinking of ya bud get well soon.
  4. 76Highboy

    76Highboy Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    Thanks for asking. 68 woke me, and then JLA woke me so I figured maybe there was a troll that needed smacking around on the forum so I thought I would get on here too see what was up.

    I am in a lot of pain. Talking, coughing, hick-ups, or sneezing hurts. The surgeon said my stomach was up into my upper chest cavity so that is why my surgery took longer then it should of.

    Now come on, lets hear some nursing home joke's.
  5. time2shoot

    time2shoot Active Member

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    76highboy was out walking one day and went by a retirement home. As he passed the front lawn, he saw nine old ladies basking in the sun in lounge chairs. When he looked closer he realized that they were all stark naked.

    He went to the door and rang the bell. When the director answered the door, the man asked if he realized there were nine naked old ladies lying in the sun on the front lawn.

    The director said, "Yes" and went on to explain that the old ladies were all retired prostitutes living at the retirement home, and they were having a yard sale.

    Hows that?
  6. 76Highboy

    76Highboy Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    Stop it. Stop it. That stresses my stitches. :D If my wife comes home and sees me laughing I am in big trouble.
  7. time2shoot

    time2shoot Active Member

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    76Highboy has a bumper sticker on his car that says, 'Sexy Senior Citizen.' It's hard to think of my dear old Friend in that way. What is he doing? Out entering wet pants contests? Geting his nails done? Wheelchair racing? Teeth swapping? Makes me wonder where he got that ten dollar bill for some thin mint?:eek::D
  8. time2shoot

    time2shoot Active Member

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    Ok I'm done................ For now.
  9. 76Highboy

    76Highboy Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    Your cracking me up. These narcotics sure mess with ya.
  10. gvw3

    gvw3 Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    Glad to hear you are out and all went well.
  11. 68c15

    68c15 Well-Known Member

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    dont stop, go get him bud. since he is down we have our opportunity.
  12. 76Highboy

    76Highboy Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    :tapfoot::na-na:
  13. 1969SS396

    1969SS396 New Member

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    A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

    However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:
    'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'...

    Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:

    'I'll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.'


    Moral of the story : Never, Never, Never Be Late
  14. woolleyworm

    woolleyworm Active Member

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    Highboy Settles in at the Nursing Home

    One evening a wife brings her frail, grumpy ole'man to a nursing home and leaves him as planned, hoping he will be well cared for.
    The next morning, the nurses bathes him, feeds him a tasty breakfast, and sets him in a chair at a window over-looking a lovely flower garden.
    He seems OK, but after a while he slowly starts to lean over sideways in his chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch him and straighten him up. Again he seems OK, but after a while he starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring him back upright.
    This goes on all morning.
    Later the family arrives to see how the ole'man is adjusting to the nursing home. "So Highboy, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    "It's pretty nice," he replies. "Except they won't let me fart."
  15. 76Highboy

    76Highboy Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    That's funny woolleyworm.
  16. JLA

    JLA Well-Known Member

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    You know.. I was just reading that.. I began to wonder why you instinctively lean over to fart. or if youre standing you slightly raise your leg.. anyway. Couple minutes later one came a knockin so i intentionally sat still and didnt lean over in my chair to rip it.. Well, I quickly figured out why you instictlively lean over to fart.. It kinda hurts if you dont.. :eek:
  17. geds

    geds New Member

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    that's why they call it ripping one!
  18. geds

    geds New Member

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    I heard Jimboy streaked through the little old ladies' flower arranging class at the nursing home. When he made it back to his room, he had a blue ribbon around his neck - seems he won Best Dried Arrangement!
  19. time2shoot

    time2shoot Active Member

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    OH OUCH.
    I'll beat highboy to it.:tapfoot::rant::thud:
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2012
  20. 76Highboy

    76Highboy Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    Sure, laugh at a crippled man.
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