How Not To Go Deer Hunting:)))))

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Don Buckbee, Nov 10, 2008.

  1. Don Buckbee

    Don Buckbee New Member

    May 25, 2004
    Grayling, MI
    I didn't check if it is true, but it is a good story.

    In recognition of deer season now upon us-

    I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it
    in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then
    kill it and eat it.

    The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I
    figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder
    and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are
    there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff
    at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck
    not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one,
    get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it
    down) then hog-tie it and transport it home.

    I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with
    my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing
    before, stayed well back. They were not having any of

    After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of
    them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from
    the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer
    just stood there and stared at me.

    I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end
    so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood
    and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly
    concerned about the whole rope situation.

    I took a step towards took a step away. I put a
    little tension on the rope and then received an

    The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may
    just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it,
    they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that

    That deer EXPLODED.

    The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a
    deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a
    colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope
    and with some dignity.

    A deer? No chance.

    That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There
    was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it.
    As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me
    across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer
    on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had
    originally imagined.

    The only upside is that they do not have as much
    stamina as many other animals.

    A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as
    quick to take me off my feet and drag me when I
    managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize
    this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out
    of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost
    my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get
    that devil creature off the end of that rope.

    I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around
    its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully
    somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all
    between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated
    the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling
    was mutual.

    Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots
    where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by
    bracing my head against various large rocks as it
    dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly
    enough to recognize that there was a small chance that
    I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the
    situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have
    to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined
    back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little
    trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze

    I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I
    could get my rope back.

    Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a
    million years would have thought that a deer would bite
    somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up
    there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of
    my wrist.

    Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a
    horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer
    bites you and shakes its head -- almost like a pit bull.
    They bite HARD and it hurts.

    The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is
    probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried
    screaming and shaking instead. My method was
    ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and
    shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only
    several seconds.

    I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be
    questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept
    it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I
    reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
    That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior
    for the day.

    Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear
    right up on their back feet and strike right about head
    and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly
    sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal,
    like a horse, strikes at you with their hooves and you
    can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to
    make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards
    the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a
    bit so you can escape.

    This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such
    trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond,
    I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman
    and tried to turn and run.

    The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn
    and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a
    good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head.
    Deer may not be so different from horses after all,
    besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil,
    because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in
    the back of the head and knocked me down.

    Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it
    does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not
    recognize that the danger has passed. What they do
    instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you
    while you are laying there crying like a little girl and
    covering your head.

    I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer
    went away.

    So, now I know why people go deer hunting with a rifle
    with a scope. They try to sort of even the odds.
  2. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk New Member

    Aug 22, 2006
    South Central Texas
  3. jacksonco

    jacksonco New Member

    Jul 11, 2007
    Jackson County West Virginia
    Damn! Some one should make a TV movie about this guy. Makes those Jack Ass Movie guys see a little tame doesn't it? Thanks for the illuminating post.
  4. Shellback

    Shellback New Member

    Jul 10, 2008
    Broken Arrow Ok
    That was a great story! Thanks Don :D
  5. artabr

    artabr New Member

    Mar 3, 2008
    New Iberia, Louisiana
    Thanks for the laugh. :D :D :D


  6. Lori Mick

    Lori Mick New Member

    Nov 7, 2008
    Stuck in Upstate NY for a while
    Yes! Thanks for the laugh! ( I still have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard!) Wow! That was Great! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D
  7. noslolo

    noslolo New Member

    Oct 15, 2004
    Johnstown PA
    Not a true story and not the full story but very, very funny, to say the least. It always brings tears to my eyes, because I'm laughing so hard!
  8. GMFWoodchuck

    GMFWoodchuck New Member

    Oct 9, 2008
    Binghamton, NY
    My uncle many years ago killed a doe with his knife.

    Long story short, he shot a doe and it ran x number of yards (I don't recall some of the exact details like that) He tracked it and found it. He grabbed his knife and went to cut it's throat open and before he knew it he was in the fight of his life. Being a very large armed with a knife man and the doe being small, he eventually killed the doe. His buddies came up eventually and asked what the heck happened to him. One of his buddies walking around found the doe he had actually shot less than twenty yards away. The one he had just killed with his knife was sleeping and had no bullet holes. His buddies carefully inspected the deer looking for gun shot wounds. The doe was never shot.
  9. Lori Mick

    Lori Mick New Member

    Nov 7, 2008
    Stuck in Upstate NY for a while
    I'm still laughing at this story.... :D:D:D:D
    and sharing it with friends!
  10. mrkirker

    mrkirker New Member

    Jul 13, 2007
    I have forwarded to several 'hunter' friends! Great story!

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