Human race is doomed

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by warpig, Feb 24, 2003.

  1. warpig

    warpig Guest

    pickenup
    Member
    Posts: 46
    (11/5/02 2:28:10 am)
    Reply | Edit | Del All Human race is doomed
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    In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

    On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

    On a bag of Fritos: .You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

    On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

    On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

    On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside
    down."(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

    On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to
    reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

    On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

    On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

    On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

    On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

    On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
    I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one:

    On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)



    Now that you've smiled at least once, send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.


    dksdks
    Member
    Posts: 24
    (11/5/02 8:14:28 am)
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    good one



    Bob In St Louis
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 3226
    (11/5/02 3:15:15 pm)
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    I have a copy of a manual for the SKS rifle that was produced in the 1980s when all those Chinese SKS rifles were imported. It was obviously written by a Chinese engineer not too proficient in English. There were a lot of strange things in this manual, but my favorite one was "do not allow the rifle to become sun burned" ?????

    To this day I have been putting sun screen on myself and my rifle when I go out shooting ----
    Crusty Cruffler of Fine Spanish Pistols - Eibar Rules!

    shooter22
    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 1622
    (11/5/02 4:58:38 pm)
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    That is all good and dandy Bob, but do you or the rifle have any tan lines?

    Hey, Bin Lauden, our women can kick you butt!






    1952Sniper
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 423
    (11/5/02 8:56:11 pm)
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    Speaking of funny mis-translations, here are a few good ones:

    When translated into Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off".

    In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

    Sign in a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

    In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

    Message printed on a Japanese eraser: "Mr. Friendly Quality Eraser. Mr. Friendly Arrived!! He always stay near you, and steals in your mind to lead you to a good situation.". On the bottom of the eraser is a further message: "We are ecologically minded. This package will self-destruct in Mother Earth."

    Chicken-man Frank Perdue's slogan, "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken", got terribly mangled in another Spanish translation. A photo of Perdue with one of his birds appeared on billboards all over Mexico with a caption that explained "It takes a hard man to make a chicken aroused".

    The Mitsubishi four wheel drive marketed in Australia as the "Pajero" was the cause of great emabarassmentt in Spain where "Pajero" means "masturbater".

    Russian/Russia: in the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

    Sweden: in the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

    Switzerland: in a Swiss menu: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for".

    Unknown (South Africa? France? Australia?): in a Rhodes tailor's shop: Order your summers suit. Because in big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
    Macht kaputt, was euch kaputt macht!

    pickenup
    Member
    Posts: 48
    (11/7/02 1:39:03 am)
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    Got a kick out of those.

    Go Get Beer
    Member
    Posts: 35
    (11/7/02 4:15:37 am)
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    Try these:
    www.engrish.com

    edited to activate link - ruffitt

    Edited by: ruffitt at: 11/9/02 11:17:45 am

    warpig883
    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 5208
    (11/8/02 2:36:41 pm)
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    ezSupporter
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    Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?


    If you take an oriental person and spin him in circles does he become disoriented?
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