Hysterical Films.....

Discussion in 'General Military Arms & History Forum' started by Guest, Feb 23, 2003.

  1. Guest

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    Xracer
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    (5/6/01 7:29:17 pm)
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    OK guys & gal......what were the WORST historical and/or military films?

    Bob In St Louis
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    (5/6/01 8:34:04 pm)
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    History of the World, Part I (Mel Brooks) I especially like the first art critic ---
    Support the Dead Party, vote Harry S. Truman for Missouri Senate in 2002!

    Tac401
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    (5/6/01 8:49:31 pm)
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    ezSupporter
    Re: Hysterical Films.....
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    Historical films or Hysterical films?

    Tac
    The Firearms Forum Vietnam Memories Bulletin Board Contact Administrator

    Xracer
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    (5/6/01 9:09:24 pm)
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    OK.....how about hysterical historical films.......like the one where Ginger Rogers played Dolly Madison.

    polishshooter
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    (5/6/01 9:43:29 pm)
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    Take your pick of any of the maudlin propaganda films produced during WWII in Hollywood.

    Plus the "Green Berets" pretty well sucked in the accuracy department, and ranks right up there in the wartime propaganda department.

    I've tried to watch "Thin Red Line" three times and fell asleep each time.

    Oh there are many more, let me think...

    obelix2
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    (5/7/01 1:55:48 am)
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    XRacer, I take exception to your using a Ginger Rogers picture for your bad example. A career like that, and she makes one lousy mistake...

    Polish, a lot of the later wartime films are pretty good, like John Ford's They Were Expendable, with John Wayne and Robert Montgomery (just off active duty and maybe wearing his real uniform). The hilarious ones came early in the War, while we were losing badly, and nobody wanted to know.

    One of my favorites is Bataan, where a squad somehow composed of a member of every branch of the service they could think of (including Robert Walker as a sailor) and every ethnic group (Desi Arnaz is the Mexican, Thomas Mitchell the Jew) is assigned to hold a vital bridge. Before getting wiped out they take along with them (by my count) three Japanese divisions and a reinforced brigade.

    There's also Destination Tokyo, with Cary Grant commanding a submarine with an interior large enough to hold the Rose Bowl.

    I didn't fall asleep during The Thin Red Line but wish I had. There aren't too many pictures where you could cut the entire first hour without anyone noticing. For Guadalcancal, I recommend Guadalcanal Diary, one of the few early-War movies you can take seriously.

    Xracer
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    (5/7/01 8:01:14 am)
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    Obelix.....not only Gloria Grahame, but Ginger Rogers too? Who next, Carmen Miranda?

    I was a Hedy Lamarr fan myself. (That's Hedy, not Hedley)

    Xracer
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    (5/7/01 10:14:01 am)
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    Well, it's too late now....but can't you just imagine "The Battle of Gettysburg" directed by the late, great, Ed Wood.....or maybe "D Day" directed by Bill "One Shot" Bodine?

    obelix2
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    (5/7/01 12:58:04 pm)
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    XRacer, I understand your bafflement. To save trouble in the future, these (in addition to GG and GR) are the sanctified actresses, through the '40s, anyhow: Lillian Gish, Clara Bow, Barbara Stanwyck (except for that brogue in Union Pacific), Jean Arthur, Carole Lombard, Marie Dressler, Marlene Dietrich, Olivia de Havilland, Bette Davis, Claudette Colbert, Shirley Temple (pre-ambassadorial period), Jennifer Jones, Teresa Wright, Gail Russell, Judy Garland, Ida Lupino, Edna May Oliver. I may inadvertently have left a few out, so watch yourself.

    On the hypothetical, I assume you'd give Ed Wood more than his usual budget ($17.50) so he wouldn't have to keep shooting Bela Lugosi over and over again as the whole Confederate Army.

    polishshooter
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    (5/7/01 7:48:35 pm)
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    Was that one "Bataan" the one where they are in the jungle, holding back the entire Jap advance and getting killed one by one? The one where everytime the Japs attack, they got up and left the perfectly good position with the 1917 watercooled with a full belt and grabbed their Thompsons and machetes and 03s with bayonets and met them for a little hand to hand combat?

    And ended up with one guy left alive, behind the .30, and ends with him grabbing an 03 with bayonet and grimly going "over the top" one last time when the Japs attack again? Lots of silent maudlin soul searching between attacks too...

    I remember that early one, don't remember the name, but even as a kid, I couldn't figure out leaving the Browning in that situation...they'da found me with my finger still pushing that damm trigger up...

    I figured that low budget film couldn't afford SHOOTING the machine gun...

    Bob In St Louis
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    (5/7/01 8:30:37 pm)
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    Hey - don't forget Dame Julie Andrews! She led that Von Trapp family out of Austria to escape the Nazis. She also looked damn good dancing around in the nude firing the brace of Astra Model 900s in the air in the Pyrenees. Of course, she ran off with Franco, but then him and Mussolini had a duel over her, and some crazy dude named Lawrence came out of Arabia and ran off with her while the other two were missing each other with their cheap Spanish and Italian pistols. Last thing I heard was she was cooking goat meat over a camel dung fire somewhere in Tunisia, and some curly haired guy named Kadafy nabbed her ---

    Now, just what the hell were we talking about anyway?
    Support the Dead Party, vote Harry S. Truman for Missouri Senate in 2002!

    obelix2
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    (5/7/01 8:57:13 pm)
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    Bob, you obviously have total recall on the details, but I was trying to cut my list off around 1950 so it wouldn't get too long(?). Julie Andrews doesn't get to appear in movies until 1964, when she didn't get to play My Fair Lady.

    Polish, that's the one, all right. Classic morale booster. The reason Robert Taylor is still alive at the end (but not much longer, I think) is that there has to be somebody left to deliver the Obligatory Patriotic Speech.

    You can't blame them too much for the sets, though. I know the Bataan jungle looks suspiciously like a sound stage, but they were working under rationing, and without enough gasoline you'd have a hard time shooting on location.

    Xracer
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    (5/7/01 9:35:20 pm)
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    I loved all those WWII "B" movies with a Jap behind every potted palm!

    I loved those Saturday matinees during WWII. Cost 10 cents to get in.....newsreel, a cartoon, a 1930's serial, and a war movie feature.....with the obligatory shot of the oriental actor in an AT-6 cockpit with a trickle of blood coming from the corner of his mouth.....popcorn was a nickle....and they sold savings stamps in the lobby.

    War is hell!

    It really is, but what does a kid growing up in safe, secure America know.

    polishshooter
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    (5/7/01 9:58:34 pm)
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    OH yeah, who could forget the propaganda "Stooges" shorts.

    I STILL love them...

    obelix2
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    (5/8/01 6:50:05 am)
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    Even Donald Duck did his bit.

    XRacer, sorry, I left Deanna Durbin off the list.

    Xracer
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    (5/8/01 8:35:10 am)
    Reply | Edit | Del All Those Wimmen'.......
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    Wow, Obelix.....that's one helluva chorus line you've got there!
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