I love my job

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by fedupdon, Sep 17, 2009.

  1. fedupdon

    fedupdon New Member

    Jun 3, 2008
    I love my job


    If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next t ime you have a bad day at work think of this guy.
    Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
    Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
    Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
    Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
    Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
    As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea . I wear a suit to the office. It' s a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered20industrial water heater.
    This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
    It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose , which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
    What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi..
    Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn.
    I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
    In agony I realized what had happened..
    The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate..
    When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
    I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
    Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface t o begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
    As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running dow n his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
    The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
    So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
    Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
    Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
    May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day.
  2. OBrien

    OBrien New Member

    May 6, 2009
    Bangor Maine
    That's another reason I will keep my welding above water.

  3. gvw3

    gvw3 Well-Known Member Supporting Member

    Oct 16, 2011
    Chicago IL Area
    I thought I had stories about my job. None of my stories can come near this...
  4. Deputy Dawg

    Deputy Dawg Active Member

  5. Rusty Dusty

    Rusty Dusty New Member

    Feb 13, 2009
    "May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day."

    Oh, words to live by....
  6. geds

    geds New Member

    Mar 27, 2011
    Life is what you make it and how you perceive it. This changes perceptions! Thanks!
  7. Brisk44

    Brisk44 New Member

    Mar 6, 2011
    Oh that

    is funny.
  8. BlackEagle

    BlackEagle Well-Known Member Supporting Member

    Nov 25, 2011
    Ouch :lmao: Ouch :lmao: Ouch :lmao: Ouch :lmao:
  9. LOL well all the years I dealt with Jellyfish & Man-o-wars I pretty much became Imune to stings on my hands wrists & arms, even the ones that hit my legs I had gotten used to.

    But on my Belly There I would get some sting.
    Stinging guts.jpg

    On my Arse crack HOLY SHEET NOOOOO
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2012

  10. RUT RO I think Shes having "One of those Days!"

    Pain in the Azz.jpg
  11. Come close with hot solder in my eye once and drain cleaner in both my eyes another time but they never stopped me from pooping. This is a genuinely bad day.
  12. geds

    geds New Member

    Mar 27, 2011
    Need a hand there sweetie? :eek:
  13. You might not like what you find. All depends on the time of month, bladder control, incontinence problems or is it really a sweetie? You pays your money and takes your chances. :confused:
  14. raven818

    raven818 Well-Known Member Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2011
    Jax, Fl.
    Looks like a cop on the right. Maybe shes ashing her stash.
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