I think 358 will get a kick out of this one...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by glocknut, Nov 21, 2007.

  1. glocknut

    glocknut Active Member

    As pretty much everyone in this forum knows...GlockNut is an obnoxious and in your face kind of guy.... :rolleyes::D
    I've made mention from time to time about my exploits at walmart with timed releases of certain gasses...just to catch peoples attention. :D:D
    I remember telling about the time i let loose in the checkout line not realizing there was a 5'4" tall grey haired lady behind me at the time.... That particular incident i felt kinda bad about because i thougt there was a guy with a shopping cart behind me... I think he must have given up and went to another isle? and she took his place or something? Who knows. From that point on i have taken better care to make sure of not only WHO my target is...but how far away they are as well. In fact now i only employ moving "releases" as i am walking past people and i keep it at least 4-5 foot away from them so its just funny and not utterly rude....just mildly rude. :D:D:D:D

    Anyway.... the incident for which i am giving all this background goes like this...
    I was walking from one end of the store to get something else from up by the pharmacy so i was walking past the checkout isles. I felt one coming on so i started looking for a "victom".... :D One of the isles in the middle of the checkout lanes was open and was backed up 2 carts deep... the guy and his wife that were second in line were waiting to be checked out and were talking facing each other with their sides "one ear" towards me walking by when i ripped off what i thought was a normal sized release? It was more than i thought it was and it sounded like a bull horn as i walked by them....
    I remember the guy saying "WHAT THE H*LL...?!!!!!" and then i heard his wife say franticly...."no john...NO!!!" and all of a sudden the guy had caught up to me....grabbed my arm...pulling me back. He swung his other arm arroud me and gave me a hug... you know like someone would do if they were standing beside you and gave you a hug ya know..... and then he ripped a Fart of his own holding me there laughing.... :D He didn't know who he was messing with and about that time i had another big one ready to release and did i ever let it loose!!!! :D:D He let loose of me and walked back to his wife laughing and fake gagging at the same time... I was laughing as hard as i could be. His wife was slapping him and chewing him out for doing that.... LOL A complete stranger.... :D:D:D:D I remember a walmart employee asking if everything was allright? I responded that he was a buddy of mine... I walked off laughing. ;)

    Between WalMart and McDonalds i sure do have fun with people. Their reactions to things like that just really tickle me good....

    I was ordering my usual double cheesburgers at Mickey D's one time and this guy who was usually stone faced was taking my order... i spoke a few words...ripped one...spoke a few more words..ripped another...and spoke some more. I closed one eyeball and scrunched up that side of my face every time i ripped one....
    He started off with getting huge eyeballs in disbelief that someone would do that while ordering food.....he was in disbelief at first and then moved on to laughing so hard he could barely stand up he was laughing so hard. The manager came up front about that time and asked what was going on? The only thing the kid could do was point in my direction... he couldn't speak!!!!
    I ripped another one for the manager. She got the idea. The look on her face was priceless....

    Yes, i've been known to terrorize walmarts....mcdonalds... i've enen added some interresting moments to MSHA safety meetings over the years...:D

    I've had stomach problems clear back to the 6th grade...some odd...what? almost 30 years ago? They used to have those school rooms without carpet and the one piece desks with the hardwood seats... I could make that room THUNDER!!!!! Got my butt chewed out really good by mrs shacklett but it was worth it... :D Her solution was to make me raise my hand and be excused to go out into the hallway to let loose of my built up gasses....
    That didn't work either. The hallway was uncarpeted as well and had hardwood lockers that did nothing but amplify the sounds anyway....especially since it was deadly silent out there anyway. :D
    In the end she just told me if i wouldn't try to rip it so hard...that if i just released it as quietly as i could...i wouldn't have to go out in the hallway afterall.....
    Well, that bit her too because i worked on ways to release it as slow as i could so could make that sound that a ballon makes when you let the air out of it..... Oh yeah..... :D;) I was a "problem child"...or so they said. :D:D:D:D

    AND THEN there was the time in 5th grade in Mrs Meehans class when me and Doug Wolfe were passing a note book back and forth having a quite a conversation about one of the girls in class. It was a fairly innocent conversation at first.... Yeah, i think Terri Myers is a cutie...blah blah blah...stuff like that. That went on for about 8 pages or so then the conversation drifted to Mrs Meehan herself who had recently gotten married. We started adding drawn pictures to the conversation about what we thought Mr and Mrs Meehan were doing at home being Newlyweds and all... pretty graphic stuff... :D:D
    Finally Mrs Meehan caught a glimpse of the notebook being passed back to me and she came over and snatched it out of my hands... but she made the mistake of only reading the first 5 or 6 pages about the discussion of terri myers... She went back up to the front of the class and said something about making an example of me and doug. She handed the notebook to a girl at the front of the class and said.... "read the whole thing" and then pass it on to the girl next to you and then so on until the whole class has read about how cute terri myers is.... That will teach you two!!!! :D:D:D
    All the girls were sitting up front so they got it first...and being girls....they didn't laugh much...oh they turned arround and gave us some funny looks but no giggling... :D:D:D:D Then it finally got to the boys towards the back of the class. The first few just giggled a little...not enough to raise suspicion with mrs meehan...until it got to one kid who started belly laughing over what he was reading.... Mrs Meehan got a funny look..and a raised eyebrow....doug and i looked at each other knowing there was a trip to the principal over the thing and then Mrs Meehan snatched the notebook out of the kids hand and this time read the whole thing!!!! I remeber her saying..."oh jesus...OH JEEESUS" !!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D Then the kid who was supposed to get the notebook next started hollering "whats in it? WHATS IN IT?!!!!" and one of the girls said...."pictures of mrs meehan having s*x with her busband..." in a disgusted tone of course..... :D:D:D:D The kids name was Bob and he went bonkers... he wanted to see the notebook....he wanted to see it bad!!! He was protesting...mrs meehan was allready having a FIT over the notebook especially considering she was the one that come up with the idea to have it passed arround the class...it was absolute chaos in that classroom!!!!! :D:D I remember a male teacher coming into the room asking what the commotion was about and all.... i would up getting drug to the principals office by my hair...he tried to get my ear but i kept twisting my head so he settled for my hair and my shirt almost ripping it off.... :D:D:D:D Back in those days they whooped kids!!!! PC hadn't even been invented back then...
    So there Doug and I AND BOB sit in the principals office.... and believe it or not BOB was the first to go in the office because he was still protesting about not seeing the notebook.... :D:D:D:D He had more courage than we did!!!! He continuted to protest even after the principal started yelling loudly.... FORGET ABOUT THE ****ing NOTEBOOK!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D
    Thinking about it i remember Bob on a number of occasions trying to see just how mad he could actually get the teachers before they got voilent... :D

    Oh...those were the days... LOL :D:);)

    Come to think of it this would make a good post about "what mischief did you do back in your school days that got you in trouble....?"
    Anyone have any stories to add ?????? :D

  2. Well, of course in the days of my youth I was "always" a good, upstanding paragon of civic virtue and paragon of moral rectitude . . . of course there was that one time, er, a, maybe it was more than once . . . anyway . . .

    We had a vice principal at our high school, one Mr. Robert Taylor, who was, as are most vice-principals, a total, blithering !@#$%, well anyway, he didn't let us get away with much. I mean, after all, just because we took three quarts of booze with us on that field trip to San Francisco is no reason to get upset, right? Anyway, my senior year (1966-67), we saw our chance to get back at him. It seems he bought himself a brand new 1967 Mustang and made the mistake of parking it way to hell and gone out in the cow pasture at the football game on homecoming night. Several of us, all chemistry students at the time, got together some paraffin, a gas torch, and some hydrofluoric acid. As you may know, hydrofluoric acid is what is commonly used to etch glass. With the torch we melted the paraffin over a wide area of his front windshield, then took a sharp stick and wrote "the big nasty" through the paraffin after it hardened. Next we took some rags, soaked them in the hydrofluoric acid and left them over the the letters that had been scratched away in the paraffin. By the time Taylor returned to his car after the game, the deed was done! He never nailed us for it (we had been most careful about witnesses!), though he darn well knew who was responsible. None of us who were in on it ever squealed so there was really nothing he could do about it, not that he didn't try hard. I do believe he was rather glad to see us go when we graduated that June though. :D;)

  3. glocknut

    glocknut Active Member

    LOL :D

    I wasn't a part of this one but i knew the guys who did it... We had an automotive repair class in highschool that taught simple stuff like changing break pads, rotors, drums, starters...i think they did a little on carburators? I never took the class but i was lounging arround the shop when the whole thing went down... The teacher was a huge man... 350 lbs+ if i remember right they were working on the car...the teacher was in the car reving up the motor while two kids were doing something under the hood. A kid slides under the car with a welding torch and welds a spot on the outside bottom of the door to stick it shut.... I think the whole thing was timed intentionally because the bell rang and everyone bolted to the door and there was that 350 pound teacher hollering and yelling because he couldn't get the door open... :D I stuck arround long enough to see that fat bugger try and get out thru the window.... and man i'm telling you...THAT WAS QUITE A SIGHT!!!! :D More than i wanted to see..... lol
    I was late for a class over that. i was asked why i was late...i replied saying something about a watching a whale squeeze thru a window....
    I guess everyone knew what prank had gone down because everyone in the class started laughing about it...:D

    Last edited: Nov 21, 2007
  4. glocknut

    glocknut Active Member

    ....and then there was the time i "modified" a sign the teachers had put up in the english study hall. It was a red backgroud with black letters saying something lenghty about a movie that had recently been released...something about big brother watching you only they phrased it "Mr Pearson is watching you...." It was a spoof about the movie using mr pearson instead of big brother.... Anyway, the sign had been up on the wall for several days and the teachers had become used to it being there and thats when i made several new letters and changed the wording to "Mr Pearson is w*cking *ff..." :D:D:D:D
    To my disbelief for 2 days the teachers never noticed it... several girls came into the study hall and noticed it... made a sarcastic remark about it but never told the teachers about it....bless their hearts... :D ....until the foreign exchange studedent from Korea saw it and Franticly Blabbed to one of the teachers about it.... Boy, they couldn't take that sign down fast enough when it was pointed out to them !!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D

    Then there was this chick in high school that kept teasing a friend of mine...she would act like she was interrested in him...sweet talking him, rubbing on him....but never giving him a date. She did it just to frustrate him... she even admitted to me that was what she was doing. She always took her shoes off in class so i started sneaking "stuff".... into her shoes while they were off. She'd put them back on only to get wet feet from what i had slipped back in there... grapes and other things. Just enough to make her wonder what was in there and make her irritated.... Nailed her with that quite a few times.
    I got a copy of her class schedule and nailed her with that in classes that we were not in together.....I'd lounge arround outside the classroom door and wait for an opportunity to sneak in and deposit another gem in one of her shoes....
    She became paranoid about taking off her shoes especially if they had been off for any ammount of time :D
    And Then.... one of her friends thought she would get me back by trying to do to me what she had done to my friend..with the whole teasing routine...:D In geography class during a documentary movie her friend pulled up a chair behind me and started blowing in my ear and rubbing on me and all kinds of stuff. I just sat there enjoying the whole thing and said nothing... i guess she tried to take it to the next level...she had her hands arround me from behind rubbing my chest from and then she thought she would be a smartie by getting her legs up and wrapped them arround the chair and tease me with that a bit.... Well, she bumped into something with her foot and being the quick thinker that i have been from time to time....i grabbed her foot and held it there for a moment.... she was screaming bloody murder about me having a B*ner and she was going ape Sh*t over the whole thing.... The main thing i remember was the teacher who had been watching the whole thing from the beginning was about to fall out of his chair he was laughing so hard!!!!! I don't remember the teachers name but he was quite a character.... a bigger joker than i was... :D
    Man i enjoyed that whole thing.... she never messed with me again!!!!! :D

    Last edited: Nov 21, 2007
  5. pickenup

    pickenup Active Member

    Up until Jr High, for the most part, I was a pretty good kid in school, with a limited number of trips to the principles office. Once I got to Jr. High, all bets were off.

    Our English teacher decided to do an experiment one year. She took the "best" student (you know, the straight A's type) and teamed him up with the most "disruptive" student. Guess which one I was. ;)

    Anyway, most classes we spent the time, in a little room off of the main room, that the teachers used between classes. We were given an assignment of some kind, and a tape recorder to record our lessons on.

    After my influence rubbed off a little on the "best" student, we would spend most of the class, running up and down the halls creating havoc any way we could. We would make it back to the room in the last few minutes, and "he" would record our lesson.

    I have to preface this part with, this English teacher was HOT. I mean SMOKIN HOT. I was jealous at the first of the year, when she got married. I was PIZZED, later in the year, when she got pregnant.

    On the last day of school for that year, I was playing with the tape recorder. (something we often did, when we couldn't run the halls) Saying what I had dreamed of doing with her, if I had been given the chance. All the things an adolescent, with BOILING hormones, could think of doing with a HOT woman. I'll leave that to your imagination.

    We had every intention of erasing my ramblings (as we had done in the past) and recording the lesson for the day, but the teacher came in early, and we had to go back into the classroom. We didn't get a chance to erase it.

    Well, school got out, and I never heard anything about it. But I suspect that it might have had something to do with the next year, when the vice principle accused me of attempting to murder him, and I got a year in a boy's home. But THAT (as they say) is another story.
  6. noslolo

    noslolo New Member

    Oct 15, 2004
    Johnstown PA
    I often search for the unexpecting when going thru walley world. I try to keep mine silent but deadly, and wait for their expression. It's always classic.
  7. 358 winchester

    358 winchester *TFF Admin Staff*

    Apr 25, 2004
    Pensacola Fl. area
    I have never done things like you guys talk about nor pass gas in stores :eek:
    I am just a nice little old man :D:D:D:D
    Y'all are amateurs;)
  8. Right, Ron. We believe you. Hey, when are you going to publish your new book, "Don't Get Mad, Just Get Even?" :D;):p
  9. 358 winchester

    358 winchester *TFF Admin Staff*

    Apr 25, 2004
    Pensacola Fl. area
    That isn't the correct title:rolleyes:
    My new book is called
  10. glocknut

    glocknut Active Member

    Lets ask yer wife about that statement....shall we? :D:D:D:D

  11. glocknut

    glocknut Active Member

    I was gonna respond by making a smartcrack about how in this day and age that you would have had a chance of getting with your teacher even though your just a student...but thats not new news actually. We had a hot female gym teacher that rewarded the guys in the class with a little one on one time with various guys in the class who did the best they could in class....
    Not a new story by any means....
    She did motivate her classes though. :rolleyes: The girls hated her bad!!! :D
    Strange that nothing ever came of that whole thing? :confused:

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