Idiot sightings!!!

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by reflex1, Jul 7, 2011.

  1. reflex1

    reflex1 Well-Known Member

    My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
    She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.'
    She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
    I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'
    The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

    Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

    I live in a semi rural area.
    We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
    The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
    I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

    From Kingman, KS

    My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

    From: Kansas City

    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
    To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
    He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

    Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

    She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

    At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
    Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

    This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

    A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

    How would you pronounce this child's name?
    Leah?? NO
    Lee - A?? NOPE
    Lay - a?? NO
    Lei?? Guess Again.
    This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo.
    Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. It's pronounced "Ledasha".
    When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "The dash don't be silent."

    SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.

    If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.
  2. RedHawk

    RedHawk Former Guest

    Jun 26, 2011
    Another great McDonalds gag you should try , when you get to the counter ask the clerk for a "half pounder meal deal " they'll look at you all confused ,and start playing with the cash register looking all over for it ,but cant find it , tell them to get the supervisor , that idiot probably wont figure it out either !

    McDonalds started selling " Double Quarter Pounders" a few years ago , this really works I tried it in Jay Oklahoma , trust me its hilarious!

  3. nynomad

    nynomad Member

    Apr 8, 2010
    Very funny! Thanks
  4. A woman came to the office and asked if I could help her. Her husband was plowing with a tractor and ran out of fuel. Since he could not drive the tractor back to the barn for fueling, he told his wife go to the office that delivered his tractor fuel for help. I told her I would send a truck out to fill the tractor. "But I have two 5-gallon cans you can fill and save all that trouble," she said. I tried to explain to her that the tractor used PROPANE, and I couldn't fill the cans. She wanted to know WHY! Don't think she ever understood why I couldn't fill the cans.
  5. Wolf 5.7

    Wolf 5.7 New Member

    May 21, 2011
    My ex once asked me what a rooster was. I replied "it's a male chicken." To which she replied, "I know it's a male chicken, but what make it a rooster?" Sigh
  6. reflex1

    reflex1 Well-Known Member

    I once had a pet rooster named - drum roll please - Ballsitch!!!
  7. dad2thebone

    dad2thebone New Member

    Jul 10, 2011
    Just when i REALLY REALLY needed a laugh, man im glad i joined this site! Y'all is a buncha crazies i'll tell ya what........oh yea, thx for the laugh
  8. I cashed a large check at a Bank of America branch in Orange county and since I was traveling and didn't want a large thick wad of bills I asked for large bills. Without batting an eyelash the young lady says straight faced "All the bills are the same size."
  9. tyc

    tyc New Member

    Oct 22, 2010
    Some good humour here ... really good.

  10. Big ugly

    Big ugly New Member

    Feb 27, 2009
    Knoxville Tennessee
    My friend had his sister convinced that you could rewind Nintendo Games like you could a VHS Movie
  11. carver

    carver Moderator Supporting Member

    My brother and his BNL were talking about lifting heavey weights, my brother said that he once hurt himself setting out elephant decoys, his wife says "I didn't know they used decoys to hunt elephants". Here's your sign!
  12. Crpdeth

    Crpdeth Well-Known Member

    Apr 23, 2002
    Location location
    De dash dont be silent!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D

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