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Life's little lessons

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by swanshot, Jun 20, 2003.

  1. swanshot

    swanshot New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2003
    Messages:
    1,426
    Location:
    Perth western australia
    Subject: Life's little lessons
    GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED

    1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
    2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
    3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
    second person.
    4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
    5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
    6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
    7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
    8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
    9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
    10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap, he will pay
    you to be happy.


    GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE,THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED

    1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jelly to a tree.
    2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
    3) Families are like fudge - mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
    4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
    5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
    6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

    GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

    1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
    2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
    3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're
    down there.
    4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
    chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
    5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers
    to ask you the questions.
    6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
    7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

    THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE

    1) You believe in Santa Claus.
    2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
    3) You are Santa Claus.
    4) You look like Santa Claus.
  2. FN_Project90

    FN_Project90 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2003
    Messages:
    800
    Location:
    Atlanta, GA, USA
    swan that picture gets me laughing everytime I notice it
    hehe
  3. Smokin Guns

    Smokin Guns New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2002
    Messages:
    4,462
    Location:
    "Gun Culture Members Clubhouse"...
    Reckon I'll hang on to this one and send it 'round the network!...Thanks Swan!...[​IMG]
  4. inplanotx

    inplanotx New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2002
    Messages:
    8,889
    Location:
    Texas
    A definate keeper, thanks, Swan!

    Attached Files:

  5. swanshot

    swanshot New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2003
    Messages:
    1,426
    Location:
    Perth western australia
    Glad ya like it FN. My wife found it in a magazine and I just had to have it:D :D
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