LTS & the 28 lb. Texas Swamp Rabbit

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by warpig, Feb 24, 2003.

  1. warpig

    warpig Guest

    BlackGun
    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 3098
    (2/15/02 2:17:50 pm)
    Reply | Edit | Del All
    LTS & the 28 lb. Texas Swamp Rabbit
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    LTS is driving along a highway and sees a 28 LB Texas Swamp rabbit
    > > > > jump out across the
    > > > > middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting
    > > > > it, but unfortunately
    > > > > the rabbit jumps right in front of LTS's Ford F150.
    > > > >
    > > > > LTS being a sensitive man as well as an animal
    > > > > lover, pulls over and
    > > > > gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.
    > > > > Much to his dismay, the
    > > > > rabbit
    > > > > is dead. LTS feels so awful that he begins
    > > > > to look really sad..
    > > > >



    > > > > A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway
    > > > > sees LTS sitting on
    > > > > the side of a road and pulls over. She steps out
    > > > > of the car and asks LTS
    > > > > what's wrong. "I feel terrible," he explains,
    > > "I
    > > > > accidentally hit this
    > > > > rabbit and killed it."
    > > > >
    > > > > The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her
    > > > > car and pulls out a spray
    > > > > can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit,
    > > > > bends down, and sprays
    > > > > the contents! onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps
    > > > > up, waves its paw at the
    > > > > two
    > > > > of them and hops off down the road.
    > > > >
    > > > > Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and
    > > > > waves again, he hops
    > > > > down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves,
    > > > > hops another ten feet,
    > > > > turns
    > > > > and waves, and repeats this again and again and
    > > > > again, until he hops out of
    > > > > sight.
    > > > >
    > > > > LTS is astonished. He runs over to the woman
    > > > > and demands, "What is
    > > > > in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"
    > > > > The woman turns the can
    > > > > around so that LTS can read the label.
    > > > >
    > > > > It says...
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > > (Are you ready for this?)
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > > (Are you sure?)
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > > (This is bad!)
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > > (You know you could just click off and not read
    > > > > the punch line)
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > > (You know you're gonna be sorry)
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > > (Last chance!)
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > > (OK, here it is)
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > > ...It says, "Hair Spray - Restores life to dead
    > > > > hair, adds permanent
    > > > > wave."
    > > >
    >

    Tread On Me, But, Leave My DONUT Alone! !


    BlackGUN

    LIKTOSHOOT
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 3771
    (2/15/02 2:57:45 pm)
    Reply | Edit | Del Re: LTS & the 28 lb. Texas Swamp Rabbit
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    It is obvious, the spinner of this tale has never been with me whilst driving. Them plyers and pocket knife in the door cuby-hole....ain`t fer cleaning my bellybutton. Plus, I would have been looking for a roadside sympathy.......................!!!!

    Texas, ya no..Game is Game, it`s just how you skin it...

    Different name
    V.I.P. Forum Host
    Posts: 1309
    (2/15/02 4:21:47 pm)
    Reply | Edit | Del Re: LTS & the 28 lb. Texas Swamp Rabbit
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    Gawldarnit --- I gotta quit typin ---- I'm tryin ta pull my hare out.....

    Dwam Wabbits evwi whare!
    Charlie D

    AGunguy
    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 1347
    (2/15/02 6:49:05 pm)
    Reply | Edit | Del Re: LTS & the 28 lb. Texas Swamp Rabbit
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I liked it, BG.

    And LTS uses that same skinning knife to clean out the toe jam under his toe nails. Then he applys it to his next road kill.

    GG

    kdub01
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 252
    (2/15/02 10:01:53 pm)
    Reply | Edit | Del Re: LTS & the 28 lb. Texas Swamp Rabbit
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    An' then, he picks his few teeth with it!

    LIKTOSHOOT
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 3784
    (2/15/02 10:10:37 pm)
    Reply | Edit | Del Re: LTS & the 28 lb. Texas Swamp Rabbit
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Yep, after I clean a mess of turtle. Quit giving out the secret spices fer my cooking yous guys!!!!

    warpig883
    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 2455
    (2/16/02 5:43:12 pm)
    Reply | Edit | Del Re: LTS & the 28 lb. Texas Swamp Rabbit
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    I don't get it
    We can't be so fixated on our desire to preserve the rights of ordinary Americans... -- Bill Clinton, US President (USA Today, 11 Mar 1993, page 2a)
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