Message from President.

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Txquadhunter, Jul 24, 2009.

  1. Txquadhunter

    Txquadhunter Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2003
    Messages:
    516
    Location:
    Nevada, TX
    A message from President Obama


    Dear Citizens,

    Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, I, President Obama have decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

    Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

    Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).

    A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as I, President Obama deem appropriate.

    Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

    Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by me, President Obama.

    Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much **** (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. I, President Obama have always prided myself on the amount of **** I give our citizens.

    Should you feel that you do not receive enough ****, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the **** you can handle.

    Sincerely,

    President Obama

    P.S. - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
  2. ilovenxstage

    ilovenxstage New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2009
    Messages:
    147
    Location:
    Indiana
  3. Big ugly

    Big ugly New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2009
    Messages:
    2,682
    Location:
    Knoxville Tennessee
    I am impressed. very funny indeed.
Similar Threads
Forum Title Date
The Pump House Saloon Message From Teachers Dec 4, 2014
The Pump House Saloon Important Message From Clyde Jun 7, 2014
The Pump House Saloon Message from GOD Nov 15, 2013
The Pump House Saloon Got a text message from 76Highboy Sep 11, 2013
The Pump House Saloon Message From ~The Wizard of Oz~ Aug 16, 2012

Share This Page