Monty Python & Holy Grail Scene

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by 45nut, Apr 22, 2009.

  1. 45nut

    45nut Active Member

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    ARTHUR: Old woman!
    DENNIS: Man!
    ARTHUR: Man. Sorry. What knight live in that castle over there?
    DENNIS: I'm thirty-seven.
    ARTHUR: I-- what?
    DENNIS: I'm thirty-seven. I'm not old.
    ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you 'Man'.
    DENNIS: Well, you could say 'Dennis'.
    ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called 'Dennis'.
    DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
    ARTHUR: I did say 'sorry' about the 'old woman', but from the behind you
    looked--
    DENNIS: What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior!
    ARTHUR: Well, I am king!
    DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. And how d'you get that, eh? By exploiting
    the workers! By 'anging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates
    the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going
    to be any progress with the--

    WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh! How d'you do?
    ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who's castle is that?
    WOMAN: King of the who?
    ARTHUR: The Britons.
    WOMAN: Who are the Britons?
    ARTHUR: Well, we all are. We are all Britons, and I am your king.
    WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous
    collective.

    DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. A self-
    perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--

    WOMAN: Oh, there you go, bringing class into it again.
    DENNIS: That's what it's all about. If only people would hear of--
    ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
    WOMAN: No one live there.
    ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?
    WOMAN: We don't have a lord.
    ARTHUR: What?
    DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in
    turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.

    ARTHUR: Yes.
    DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified at a special
    bi-weekly meeting--

    ARTHUR: Yes, I see.
    DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--
    ARTHUR: Be quiet!
    DENNIS: But by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major--
    ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
    WOMAN: Order, eh? Who does he think he is? Heh.
    ARTHUR: I am your king!
    WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.
    ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings.
    WOMAN: Well, how did you become king then?
    ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake,...
    [angels sing]
    ...her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from
    the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was
    to carry Excalibur.
    [singing stops]
    That is why I am your king!
    DENNIS: Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis
    for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

    ARTHUR: Be quiet!
    DENNIS: Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just
    'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

    ARTHUR: Shut up!
    DENNIS: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some
    moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

    ARTHUR: Shut up, will you. Shut up!
    DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
    ARTHUR: Shut up!
    DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help!
    I'm being repressed!

    ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
    DENNIS: Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh?
    That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it,
    didn't you?


    That scene is one of my favorites from the entire body of MP's work. I just thought that I would try to inject some humor into the sad situation we find ourselves in today.

    What's your favorite MP scene or sketch? My next favorite sketch is from the TV show entitled Argument Clinic

    Get your argument here :D
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2009
  2. bcj1755

    bcj1755 New Member

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    "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!!":D:D:D:D:D I love that line! My favorite scene from that movie is the rabbit:D:D:D I laugh so hard everytime I see the rabbit bite that guy's head off people think I"m some kind of psycho!!!:eek::p:D:D Or the Black Knight! That part was great also.
  3. olmossbak

    olmossbak New Member

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    Can't remember the name of the movie, may be "Holy Grail" but the mob is condeming a women as a witch. One says...she is a witch, she turn me into a newt. Another says ...you're not a newt. The first replies....well, I got better.
  4. fmacsin1

    fmacsin1 New Member

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    My favorite: The Killer Rabbits!
  5. TranterUK

    TranterUK Guest

  6. islenos

    islenos New Member

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  7. bcj1755

    bcj1755 New Member

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  8. TranterUK

    TranterUK Guest

    Americans enjoying British humour! Whatever next?
  9. islenos

    islenos New Member

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    I grew up watching Monty Python and The Goodies, by which left me with a twisted view of the UK.
  10. TranterUK

    TranterUK Guest

    No, you dont understand. It's really like that here. Man eating Rabbits, ladies in lakes, its all true..
  11. 4EvrLearning

    4EvrLearning New Member

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    I suspected as much ;)

    The scene with Dennis and King Arthur is probably one of my favorites, as well. However, the "coconut clopping" in the opening scene is pretty darn funny.... Clever men, they.

    Hmmm...."Help! Help! I'm being repressed!".... new sign for the Tea Parties?
  12. bcj1755

    bcj1755 New Member

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    :eek::eek::eek::p I happen to think that "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" is the funniest movie ever made. I used to watch Monty Python as a kid. I also remember many hours as a kid spent with my grandmother watching "The Benny Hill Show."
  13. pinecone70

    pinecone70 Active Member

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  14. 45nut

    45nut Active Member

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    I watched
    Monty Python's Flying Circus
    Are You Being Served?
    Benny Hill
    Two Ronnies
    Faulty Towers
    Open All Hours
    Black Adder

    I loved them all, but MP and Two Ronnies were the best!!!
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2009
  15. KING64

    KING64 New Member

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    Soooo.....I am not the only Monty Python nut here. Glad to know that.
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