Discussion in 'The Fire For Effect and Totally Politically Incorr' started by petesusn, Feb 16, 2010.

  1. petesusn

    petesusn Member

    Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

    This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

    Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

    Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

    A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

    Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

    Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

    Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much s**t (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of s**t they give our citizens.

    Should you feel that you do not receive enough s**t, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the s**t you can handle.


    The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

    PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
  2. Marlin T

    Marlin T Well-Known Member

    Jul 8, 2005
    New Mexico

  3. red14

    red14 Well-Known Member

    Aug 17, 2009
    N FLA
    Always a fine report.

    Thank you Pete. Now I know where that pain in my extreme lower back is coming from.
  4. jack404

    jack404 Former Guest

    Jan 11, 2010
    i'll send you all some vasalene ;)
  5. petesusn

    petesusn Member

    Send lots of it Jack. Because there are many in the U.S. who are just going to bend over and take it.
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2010
  6. wpage

    wpage Active Member

    Aug 25, 2009
    You forgot the supplemental program. Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.)
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