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mustard

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by fedupdon, May 6, 2009.

  1. fedupdon

    fedupdon New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2008
    Messages:
    307
    This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this father).




    I Love Mustard


    As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, Gourmet Mustard.

    The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side..

    Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,' she said.

    I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

    I love mustard.

    I had no napkin.

    I licked it off.

    It was not mustard.

    No man ever put a baby down faster.

    It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my
    tongue protruding out.

    With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine
    shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.

    Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my
    wife Said, 'Now you know why they call that fancy mustard
    Poupon.''
  2. ampaterry

    ampaterry *TFF Admin Staff Chaplain* Staff Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2008
    Messages:
    8,214
    Location:
    West Tennessee
    Thanks, Don.

    You have just destroyed my desire to EVER put mustard on anything ever again - - -

    LOL :)
  3. 4EvrLearning

    4EvrLearning New Member

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    Feb 27, 2009
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    1,449
    Location:
    Left Coast
    rofl!!! Great story....love the visuals!
  4. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2006
    Messages:
    3,330
    Location:
    South Central Texas
    Thanks, that was good. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
  5. muddober

    muddober Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2008
    Messages:
    1,447
    :eek:No it was NOT good, but it was very funny.:)
Similar Threads
Forum Title Date
The Pump House Saloon All mustard and no meat Jul 6, 2009
The Pump House Saloon Mustard story Apr 15, 2006

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