My Favorite Blonde Joke

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by dianalv, Sep 11, 2009.

  1. dianalv

    dianalv New Member

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    A woman was driving her Ferrari Red convertable down the road, wind streaming her long blonde hair out behind her and grooving to her favorite CD, when she spies something odd. Pulling over, she gets out of her car and stares in astonishment at the scene before her.

    There, in the middle of a bare dusty field, sits another blonde in a rowboat, working the oars for all she's worth, stirring up huge clouds of dust and getting precisely nowhere, of course, despite all her efforts.

    The woman from the convertable shakes her head in disgust and yells across the field, "What the heck do you think you're doing, you idiot? It's blondes like you who give the rest of us a bad name! Why, if I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your a$$!"
  2. dianalv

    dianalv New Member

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    Just picture it in your head......
  3. bcj1755

    bcj1755 New Member

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  4. JetGirl

    JetGirl Member

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    One blonde yells to another across a river full of rapids, "HEY!! Tell me how to get on the other side!!"
    The second blonde yells back, "Silly!! You ARE on the other side!!"
  5. dianalv

    dianalv New Member

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    A blonde gets in an accident. She takes her car to a body shop to get the dents fixed. The car mechanic decides to have a little fun with her. He tells her, "Well, Miss, it's gonna cost you $2980 for us to fix your car." He looks around furtively and beckons the blonde closer. He whispers in her ear, "Don't let the boss know I told you this, but you could fix this yourself for nothing."

    The blonde says, "Really??? How?"

    The mechanic, thoroughly enjoying himself, tells her to take the car home, to put it in the garage and let it cool off, then put her mouth around the tail pipe and blow really hard. "This will pop out the dents," he says sagely.

    The blonde thanks him profusely, then drives her car home and has lunch while the tail pipe cools.

    Sometime later her older sister comes home (also a blonde), and discovers her sibling on her knees behind her car blowing for all she's worth. "What the Heck do you think you're doing?" she asks incredulously. Her younger sister explains what the mechanic told her.

    "You dummy!" she exclaims. "That will never work! You've got to roll the windows up first!"
  6. Jay

    Jay New Member

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    Miss Ann.... which one were you? :D
  7. JetGirl

    JetGirl Member

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    The armed one.;)
  8. Kieran McCaig

    Kieran McCaig New Member

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    With that answer I'd say fake blonde
  9. dianalv

    dianalv New Member

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    Hey, I'm blonde and I'm armed. Real blonde too. Why do you think I know so many blonde jokes? Heard 'em all my life.
  10. JetGirl

    JetGirl Member

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    Ditto. And something else...blondes know the BEST blonde jokes...and we don't share them with the non-blondes.

    By the way, what's black, blue, red & brown and is found in a ditch?
    A brunette who told one too many blonde jokes!;)
  11. woolleyworm

    woolleyworm Moderator

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    You two are cracking me up !! :D:D:D Thanks for the laughs, needed them after this week!
  12. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk New Member

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  13. Kieran McCaig

    Kieran McCaig New Member

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    What do you call a Blonde with a dye job
  14. JetGirl

    JetGirl Member

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    Artificial intelligence. :rolleyes:

    Your joke repertoire ...Old and busted. Needs new hawtness...:D
  15. Kieran McCaig

    Kieran McCaig New Member

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    Was just testing the waters
  16. JetGirl

    JetGirl Member

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    Allow me to help...


    A blonde walks up to a vending machine outside of a local store. She drops a couple coins into the slot and a root beer pops out. She set it on the ground, puts in a couple more coins and a coke comes out. She continues to do this lining up can after can on the sidewalk. A man walks up and waits for a few minutes and becomes impatient saying, "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever you’re doing?"

    The blonde turns around and says,
    "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2009
  17. dianalv

    dianalv New Member

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    A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

    Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

    She showed him the instructions on the tin,

    "For best results, put on two coats."
  18. dianalv

    dianalv New Member

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    On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.

    The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"

    "That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

    After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"
  19. dianalv

    dianalv New Member

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    Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

    "We don't have any," replied the first blonde.

    "Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses," said the Game Warden.

    "But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

    The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden. "Take all the debris you want." And with that, he left.

    As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two. "Doesn't he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?"
  20. Trouble 45-70

    Trouble 45-70 New Member

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    The jokes were good and tthe comments were better. Thanks ladies.
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