My Favorite Blonde Joke

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by dianalv, Sep 11, 2009.

  1. kingchip

    kingchip New Member

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    A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are sitting in the OBGYN waiting room talking. The doctor has told them that if the girl is on top it will be a girl. If the man is on top it will be a boy.
    The brunette tells them that hers will be a girl because she was on top. The redhead says her baby will be a boy because her husband was on top. The blonde starts crying. The other two ask her what's the matter.

    "I'm going to have puppies".
  2. dianalv

    dianalv New Member

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    A blonde takes her favorite little black dress into the dry cleaners. The Oriental lady takes the dress, writes up her ticket and says "Thank you velly much. Come again."

    "No," says the blonde, "It's toothpaste this time, you nosy old biddy!"
  3. JohnBrainard

    JohnBrainard New Member

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    Two blond carpenters were building a house. One blond walked around the house to see how the other was doing and, to her amazement, the other blond was hammering one nail in and tossing another out. She watched this go on for several minutes and finally yelled, "What are you doing?!?!?" The other blond says, "The heads on those nails are on the wrong side!" The first blond replied, "You idiot! Those nails are for the other side of the house!"
  4. dianalv

    dianalv New Member

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    I once heard a blonde joke where the blonde out smarted everyone, but I can't remember it.:eek:
  5. artabr

    artabr New Member

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    A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

    The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

    Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

    The blonde replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?



    Art
  6. JetGirl

    JetGirl Member

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    There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a talkative lawyer on an airplane when all she wanted to do was take an inflight nap...
    But the lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence instead.

    Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00.

    The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde yawned and reluctantly accepted.

    The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
    Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. Then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

    Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer while the blonde peacefully dozed.

    Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up...he woke the blonde up and paid her $50 bucks.

    The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

    Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
  7. dianalv

    dianalv New Member

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    That's the one! The other one was good too. I knew there were at least two....
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