My first Try

Discussion in 'The VMBB Poets' started by Guest, Mar 1, 2003.

  1. Guest

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    BARTAL
    Moderator
    Posts: 215
    (11/12/01 9:14:30 pm)
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    ezSupporter
    My first Try
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    IN THE DARK I SEE
    STARS THAT COULD BE
    THE SAME AS THE ONES BACK HOME

    IN THE DARK I SEE
    TREES THAT COULD BE
    THE SAME AS THE ONES BACK HOME

    IN THE DARK I SEE
    PEOPLE THAT COULD BE
    THE SAME AS THE ONES BACK HOME

    IN THE LIGHT I SEE
    THAT NOTHINGS LIKE IT SHOULD BE
    NOTHING IS LIKE BACK HOME.......................
    Peace....Barry

    Mesen
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 198
    (11/12/01 9:37:12 pm)
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    Love it Barry! I don't put much in words in my verse so folks can fill in the blanks themselves, you know color the rest of the picture in their own mind, I did that with yours. I like it. Keep it up.
    Bree
    IF YOU VALUE YOUR FREEDOM, THANK A VET!

    Misterstan
    Moderator
    Posts: 743
    (11/13/01 8:30:53 am)
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    Barry,

    THIS POEM I SEE
    WASN'T WRITTEN BY ME
    BUT I WANT TO SAY "WELCOME HOME"!

    Keep up the good work....

    Misterstan



    nighthawk
    Moderator
    Posts: 545
    (11/13/01 11:48:40 am)
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    ditto the above, Barry,,

    keep it up,,if that's your first, you have a great future at it,,,

    Stan H ,, nighthawk

    GRUNT
    Member
    Posts: 5
    (11/25/01 9:36:26 pm)
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    Barry

    This was my first visit to the poems section and read yours first...very good, especially for a first.
    'nuff said

    Winter11
    Moderator
    Posts: 427
    (11/26/01 2:10:18 pm)
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    Loved it! As Bree said, it leaves you with a sense of filling in you're own picture.

    A lot comes to my mind when I read those words. I sit here and try to imagine what it must have been like to be in a strange land an not know what the next day will bring; what it must have been like to look around you and long for what you know well.

    I truly can't imagine.

    Great first poem... look forward to more!



    Always Faithful

    hope6970
    Moderator
    Posts: 647
    (11/26/01 11:23:28 pm)
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    Barry, that was really - really good. Now why haven't you done more of that before now? - Hope

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