My son wrote this poem for his writing class.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by GoodOl'12gauge, Jan 28, 2010.

  1. GoodOl'12gauge

    GoodOl'12gauge New Member

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    I thought it was worth sharing.

    Tear drops on the cold steel of his gun, The wind stings his face he is done, He can do no more
    His heart is broken, But a demon inside he feels he has awoken, His ears still ring with the last shots fired, his whole body is tired, most of his friends dead, there screams still sound in his head,
    Even though all is silent all he can feel is violence and anger, His government came but the people
    won, Another civil war is over and done, But he crys in duisgust at what his country had become,
    but tyrants were again overcome, All he has now is his faith and his gun, not even his family can be there to see all that has been done, Now he must start over, be reborn, He looks at the faint light of
    dawn, Holds his rifle tight, and smiles at the suns new light, He starts to walk not knowing were he
    is going, just walking hoping to find new life, just walking hoping not to meet the angel with the scythe.
  2. jim summers

    jim summers Active Member

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    Quite sobering poem, tell your son well done
  3. Alpo

    Alpo Well-Known Member

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    Obviously he is not in public school, or that would have gotten him expelled.
  4. jack404

    jack404 Former Guest

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    Tear drops on the cold steel of his gun,
    The wind stings his face he is done,
    He can do no more

    His heart is broken,
    But a demon inside he feels he has awoken,
    His ears still ring with the last shots fired,
    his whole body is tired,
    most of his friends dead,
    there screams still sound in his head,

    Even though all is silent all he can feel is violence and anger,
    His government came but the people won,
    Another civil war is over and done,
    But he crys in duisgust at what his country had become,
    but tyrants were again overcome,
    All he has now is his faith and his gun,
    not even his family can be there to see all that has been done,

    Now he must start over, be reborn,
    He looks at the faint light of dawn,
    Holds his rifle tight, and smiles at the suns new light,
    He starts to walk not knowing were he
    is going,

    just walking hoping to find new life,
    just walking hoping not to meet the angel with the scythe.

    ------------------------------------------------------------


    Sir may i suggest you send this with your son's details to this site

    http://www.poetpatriot.com/

    i know Mr Hancock would be most interested,

    and i for one will be happy to nominate it for publication

    Well done to your son!

    pity some cannot see the possibilities and risks ahead as well as some kids

    again well done to your young one and well done to you

    thank you for posting this

    jack
  5. Artemus

    Artemus New Member

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    If this kid lives in Mass. or California the swat team is probably being called and the Secret Service are knocking on the door.
  6. Terry_P

    Terry_P New Member

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    Just curious what grade did he receive on it?
  7. Trouble 45-70

    Trouble 45-70 New Member

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  8. K1D_5150

    K1D_5150 New Member

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    Very well put together poem. Your son could get something of a compilation together if he likes to write things like that and have them published.
  9. GoodOl'12gauge

    GoodOl'12gauge New Member

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    We live in R.I. and he is 17 ant got a 98 on it. He also says thank you for the compliments.
  10. colt

    colt New Member

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    Very well done.
  11. flintlock

    flintlock Well-Known Member

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    Well done. The young man has talent.
  12. Willie

    Willie Active Member

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    Well done. With feeling that belies his age.
  13. JohnBrainard

    JohnBrainard New Member

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    Well done! I sent this to a friend who likes to write poetry. He also served in the military.
  14. Dirtypacman

    Dirtypacman New Member

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    That was awesome - very talented your son.
  15. noslolo

    noslolo New Member

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    Awesome poem!!!!!!!
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