Navy Humor

Discussion in 'The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch' started by Guest, Mar 2, 2003.

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    Misterstan
    Moderator
    Posts: 230
    (6/6/01 9:27:28 am)
    | Del All Navy Humor
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    THE BIGGEST MARINE


    One day a platoon of Marines are on patrol when they come upon a Sailor relaxing on top of a small hill. The Sailor puts his hands on his hips and screams out, "Do any of you seaweed sucking jarheads think you're man enough to take me on?"

    The biggest Marine comes running up the hill, screaming back at the Sailor. When he gets to the top he simply plows into his foe and the two tumble down the other side of the hill, out of sight. There is the sound of a horrendous fight for a moment or two, and then all is quiet.

    Soon, the Sailor reappears, quite untouched. He puts his hands on his hips and sneers, "Well, looks to me like one of you couldn't do it, how about the rest?"

    The enraged Marine platoon leader sends his entire platoon (30 plus men) charging after the Sailor. They all go tumbling down the far side of the hill. After 15 minutes of screaming and yelling and cursing a lone, bloodied Marine crawls over the top of the hill.

    The platoon leader yells up to his man, "What's going on up there?" The wounded Marine, with his last bit of breath, replies, "Sir, it's a -- a trap, sir. There's two of them!"


    Misterstan




    Misterstan
    Moderator
    Posts: 231
    (6/6/01 9:32:33 am)
    | Del Re: Navy Humor
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    One Tough Marine

    The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.

    The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet, he walked out with a check of $720,000.

    The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet, he walked out with a check for $960,000.

    When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man: "From the tip of my penis to the bottom of my testicles."

    The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received.

    The Marine insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine but that he'd better get the medical officer to do the measuring. The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop 'em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back.

    "My God!" he said. "Where are your testicles?"

    The general replied, "In Vietnam."

    Misterstan



    Winter11
    Member
    Posts: 21
    (6/6/01 9:38:55 am)
    | Del
    Re: Navy Humor
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    That was a good one Stan - I've read about three different versions... one where the Marine beats up the Army and one where the Army beats up the Navy.... All are so funny....

    Gotta love that all-in-good-fun rival goin' on.....

    homer4
    Moderator
    Posts: 806
    (6/6/01 2:32:55 pm)
    | Del Re: Navy Humor
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    Hahahahahaha! AH ME! Hahahahahaha! AHHH!
    ...and two hard boiled eggs.

    LarryJK
    Senior Chief Moderator III
    Posts: 98
    (6/6/01 5:46:39 pm)
    | Del Re: Navy Humor
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    Stan...love the "trap" !!!! LOL!!

    TShooters
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 204
    (6/6/01 10:45:38 pm)
    | Del More Service Branch Humor :)
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    Some people just don't understand




    An Army grunt stands in the rain with a 35 lb. pack on his back, 15 lb weapon
    in hand, after having marched 12 miles, and says, "This is shit."

    An Army Airborne Ranger stands in the rain with a 45 lb. pack on his back,
    weapon in hand, after having leaped from a hovering helicopter and marched 18
    miles, and says with a smile, "This is good shit!"

    A Marine lies in the mud, 55 LB pack on his back, weapon in hand, after
    wading 2 miles through muddy ooze to shore, crawling through a swamp and
    marching 25 miles at night through enemy positions, says with a grin, "This
    is really great shit."

    A Navy Seal, up to his nose in stinking bug-infested mud of a swamp, with a
    65 LB pack on his back and weapons in both hands, after jumping from a high
    altitude aircraft into the ocean, swimming 12 miles to shore, killing several
    alligators to enter the swamp, then crawling 30 miles through rough brush to
    assault an enemy position, says, "I love this shit!"

    An Air Force officer, sitting in a reclining chair in his air conditioned
    and carpeted BOQ room, says, "The cable's out? What kind of shit is this?"

    homer4
    Moderator
    Posts: 824
    (6/7/01 11:53:10 am)
    | Del Re: Navy Humor
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    Hahaha! Yeah!

    By the way,do we have any Air Force here? Hope so!
    ...and two hard boiled eggs.
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