Never Assume!!!!!

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by EddieS1967, May 3, 2010.

  1. EddieS1967

    EddieS1967 New Member

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    A Scottish guy walks into the bedroom with a sheep on a leash and says, "Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache."


    The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says, "If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, not a cow."

    The guy replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous b%#*h, you'd realize I was talking to the sheep."

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  2. Eddie N

    Eddie N New Member

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  3. Maximilian II

    Maximilian II New Member

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    Q: How do Scotsmen find sheep in tall grass?
    A: Very satisfying!

    What's the difference between a Scot and the Rolling Stones?
    The Rolling Stones sang "Hey, you, got offa my cloud!" and the Scot said "Hey, McCloud, get offa my ewe!"

    Don't get me started, I own and wear a kilt. Even to Wal Mart.
  4. The_Rifleman

    The_Rifleman New Member

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    LOL! Too funny!
  5. Kieran McCaig

    Kieran McCaig New Member

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    The Scots invented Velcro to make holding sheep easier.True fact.
  6. navis128

    navis128 New Member

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    Y'all R :D:D:D

    I guess at least they have some padding as opposed to goats.
  7. Maximilian II

    Maximilian II New Member

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    Scotsmen wear kilts because sheep can hear zippers a mile away.
  8. wpage

    wpage Active Member

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    The young lady ask the scottsman is it true theres no shorts under your kilt?
    Ey see for yourself said the scott
    Eww thats gruesome she said.
    Look again its grew some more!
  9. Maximilian II

    Maximilian II New Member

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    A Scot was in Cuba fishing, and ran out of smokes and whiskey. He went into the liquor store to resupply.
    While shopping, he saw two burly Cubans walk in. Both had big bushy beards and were smoking huge cigars. They ordered a box of cigars and a bottle of rum each. When told the amount owed, one said "We're Castro Men, we don't pay."
    As they walked out the Scotsman came to the counter and ordered his Scotch and a carton of cigs. The teller informed him of the amount due.
    "I'm a Castro Man, I don't have to pay for this."
    The teller looked at him and laughed. "You're no Castro man! They all have beards and big cigars."
    The Scot lifted his kilt. "Would ye believe I'm undercover?"
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