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NEW ENGLISH.......

Discussion in 'VMBB General Discussion' started by rooter, Oct 6, 2005.

  1. rooter

    rooter *VMBB Senior Chief Of Staff*

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2001
    Messages:
    10,837
    Location:
    Marty Robbins old hometown, Glendale Arizona--a su
    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be
    the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the
    other possibility.


    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
    spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan
    that would become known as "Euro-English".


    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the
    sivil servants jump with joy.


    The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion,
    and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome
    "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach
    the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a
    deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
    disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z"
    and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and
    after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
    ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst
    plas.

    If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
  2. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2003
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    13,856
    Location:
    At SouthernMoss' side forever!
    God FORBID!!!!!!!!!!!!
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