IF ANYONE WERE TO ASK ME BEFORE YESTERDAY IF I EVER HAD AN 'MRI', I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE EXCLAIMED WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT, "SHOOT YEAH, AIN'T EVERYBODY HAD ONE..."?
WELL, AS THE FOLLOW-UP ON MY LAME HIP, THE ORTHO-DOC SENT ME FOR AN MRI AS SOON AS I COULD GET IN...HECK DOC, IS THERE A WAITING LINE...CAN'T I RUN DOWN THERE TODAY...OBVIOUSLY THERE IS A CALL FOR THESE MAGICAL PROCEDURES FOR THE MEDICAL IMAGING CONCERN FINALLY WORKED ME IN LATE YESTERDAY PM...THEY HAD TO X-RAY ME FIRST TO BE SURE THERE WAS NONE OF THAT BIRDSHOT I HAD MENTIONED GETTING IN MY FANNY AS A KID PHEASANT HUNTING WHEN I WAS ABOUT 9 YEARS OLD...SAFE THERE, SO THEY TREATED ME FROM THAT POINT ON LIKE A TORPEDO BEING LOADED INTO A LAUNCHING TUBE ON A SUBMARINE..OH YES, THE SPECIALIST OPERATING THIS 'WHITE-COLORED- LAUNCHING TUBE ASKED WAS I CLAUSTERPHOBIC...I THOUGHT SHE WAS GETTING RATHER PERSONAL SO I JUST SHRUGGED AND UTTERED A BASHFUL, "NAW NURSE, I AIN'T AFRAID OF THE DARK, BUT THANKS FOR BEIN' CONCERNED.."! I FELT THE SENSATION OF ROLLING INTO THAT WHITE TUBE...IT FELT LIKE BEING ON ONE OF THOSE 'CREEPERS' THAT THE AUTO MAECHANICS USE FOR CRAWLING UNDER A CAR.....THUD....THE ROLLING STOPPED...MY EYES WERE FOCUSED ABOUT 12 INCHES ABOVE ME ON THE WHITE METALLIC OVERHEAD WHEN THE SOUNDS AND SHUDDERING BEGAN...BELLS AND WHISTLES OF EVERY DESCRIBLE SOUND ACCOMPANIED THE MOVEMENTS...I DECIDED FROM THAT POINT ON, AND FOR THE NEXT 94 MINUTES, THAT I'D NEVER BEEN INTO AN MRI MACHINE BEFORE. WHEN COMPLETED, I TOLD THE INQUIRING NURSE ATTENDANT THAT I WOULD HAVE PREFERRED A COLONOSCOPY ....SHE LOOKED SHOCKED AND THEN HORSE-LAUGHED FOR AN ENTIRE MINUTE! I DONNED MY BRITHCES AS SOON AS I GOT OUT OF THAT BACKLESS SMOCK LOOKING APRON AND MET MARY OUT IN THE WAITING ROOM...HER FIRST CONCERNING INQUIRY WAS A SHOCK SOUNDING, "ARE YOU OKAY......."? IT WAS TOTALLY DARK OUTSIDE AND THERE WAS A LONE OFFICE ATTENDANT TO LET US OUT THRU THE LOCKED DOOR INTO THE DARK PARKING LOT... I SUPPOSE YOU'VE ALL HAD AN MRI EXPERIENCE...DID YOU FEEL USED,, BIPPIE? NOW, WITH THOSE ORDERED RESULTS, I AM WONDERING WHAT THE ORTHO-DOC HAS IN STORE FOR ME...THEY GAVE US A COUPLE LITTLE VIDEOS TO GIVE TO HIM WHEN I MAKE THAT APPOINTMENT. I RECALLED FROM MY BOY-HOOD DAYS ON THE FARM THAT WHEN THE OLD PLOW-HORSE GOT LAME IN THE HIPS, THEY'D SHOOT HIM AND SELL THE HIDE TO MAKE COWBOY BOOTS!!! JOHN/CHIEF/SISSY
WELL, AS THE FOLLOW-UP ON MY LAME HIP, THE ORTHO-DOC SENT ME FOR AN MRI AS SOON AS I COULD GET IN...HECK DOC, IS THERE A WAITING LINE...CAN'T I RUN DOWN THERE TODAY...OBVIOUSLY THERE IS A CALL FOR THESE MAGICAL PROCEDURES FOR THE MEDICAL IMAGING CONCERN FINALLY WORKED ME IN LATE YESTERDAY PM...THEY HAD TO X-RAY ME FIRST TO BE SURE THERE WAS NONE OF THAT BIRDSHOT I HAD MENTIONED GETTING IN MY FANNY AS A KID PHEASANT HUNTING WHEN I WAS ABOUT 9 YEARS OLD...SAFE THERE, SO THEY TREATED ME FROM THAT POINT ON LIKE A TORPEDO BEING LOADED INTO A LAUNCHING TUBE ON A SUBMARINE..OH YES, THE SPECIALIST OPERATING THIS 'WHITE-COLORED- LAUNCHING TUBE ASKED WAS I CLAUSTERPHOBIC...I THOUGHT SHE WAS GETTING RATHER PERSONAL SO I JUST SHRUGGED AND UTTERED A BASHFUL, "NAW NURSE, I AIN'T AFRAID OF THE DARK, BUT THANKS FOR BEIN' CONCERNED.."! I FELT THE SENSATION OF ROLLING INTO THAT WHITE TUBE...IT FELT LIKE BEING ON ONE OF THOSE 'CREEPERS' THAT THE AUTO MAECHANICS USE FOR CRAWLING UNDER A CAR.....THUD....THE ROLLING STOPPED...MY EYES WERE FOCUSED ABOUT 12 INCHES ABOVE ME ON THE WHITE METALLIC OVERHEAD WHEN THE SOUNDS AND SHUDDERING BEGAN...BELLS AND WHISTLES OF EVERY DESCRIBLE SOUND ACCOMPANIED THE MOVEMENTS...I DECIDED FROM THAT POINT ON, AND FOR THE NEXT 94 MINUTES, THAT I'D NEVER BEEN INTO AN MRI MACHINE BEFORE. WHEN COMPLETED, I TOLD THE INQUIRING NURSE ATTENDANT THAT I WOULD HAVE PREFERRED A COLONOSCOPY ....SHE LOOKED SHOCKED AND THEN HORSE-LAUGHED FOR AN ENTIRE MINUTE! I DONNED MY BRITHCES AS SOON AS I GOT OUT OF THAT BACKLESS SMOCK LOOKING APRON AND MET MARY OUT IN THE WAITING ROOM...HER FIRST CONCERNING INQUIRY WAS A SHOCK SOUNDING, "ARE YOU OKAY......."? IT WAS TOTALLY DARK OUTSIDE AND THERE WAS A LONE OFFICE ATTENDANT TO LET US OUT THRU THE LOCKED DOOR INTO THE DARK PARKING LOT... I SUPPOSE YOU'VE ALL HAD AN MRI EXPERIENCE...DID YOU FEEL USED,, BIPPIE? NOW, WITH THOSE ORDERED RESULTS, I AM WONDERING WHAT THE ORTHO-DOC HAS IN STORE FOR ME...THEY GAVE US A COUPLE LITTLE VIDEOS TO GIVE TO HIM WHEN I MAKE THAT APPOINTMENT. I RECALLED FROM MY BOY-HOOD DAYS ON THE FARM THAT WHEN THE OLD PLOW-HORSE GOT LAME IN THE HIPS, THEY'D SHOOT HIM AND SELL THE HIDE TO MAKE COWBOY BOOTS!!! JOHN/CHIEF/SISSY