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New Texas Hunting Laws

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Gunfyter, Feb 23, 2006.

  1. Gunfyter

    Gunfyter New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2003
    Messages:
    1,956
    Location:
    Western Maryland
    NEW STATE OF TEXAS HUNTING LAWS - ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS

    1300.01 GENERAL

    1. Any person with a valid Texas State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
    2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency
    as bait is prohibited.
    3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck,
    remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.

    4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine,
    helicopter, or aircraft.
    5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for
    the purpose of trapping attorneys.!
    6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of Porsche or BMW
    dealerships.
    7. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or
    vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
    8. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law
    libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.

    9. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt,
    trap, or possess it.
    10. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection
    for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.
    11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug
    dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax
    accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

    BAG LIMITS

    1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder (2)
    2. Two-faced Tortfeasor (3)
    3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator (5)
    4. Big-mouthed Pub Gut (2)
    5.! Honest Attorney - EXTINCT
    6. Cut-throat (2)
    7. Back-stabbing Whiner (2)
    8. Brown-nosed Judge Kisser (2)
    9. Silver-tongued Drug Defender - $100 bounty 10. King of Torts --- NO LIMIT

    Disclaimer: THIS IS NOT A REAL LAW IN TEXAS-For Pure Amusement & Lawyer Bashing
    Only. So Don't Sue Me, as my Brother will defend me for free, as he sent me
    this.
    :eek: :D :D :D :D
  2. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2003
    Messages:
    13,856
    Location:
    At SouthernMoss' side forever!
    Ah resemble dem dar woids!!!!!!!!!
  3. SouthernMoss

    SouthernMoss *Admin Tech Staff*

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2003
    Messages:
    10,656
    Location:
    SW MS
  4. inplanotx

    inplanotx New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2002
    Messages:
    8,889
    Location:
    Texas
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