New Wal-Mart wine

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by DixieLandMan, Feb 2, 2012.

  1. DixieLandMan

    DixieLandMan Member

    804
    Oct 18, 2011
    Alabama
    Wal-Mart in the Southeast United States announced that sometime in 2012 it will begin offering customers a new discount item.....Wal-Mart's own brand of wine.


    The world's largest retail chain is rumored to be teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price in the $2 to $5 range.

    Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of the Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but 'There is a market for inexpensive wine,' said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at University of Arkansas , Bentonville. 'However, branding will be very important.'

    Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart wine brands and varieties.

    The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:

    10. Chateau Traileur Parc
    9. White Trashfindel
    8. Big Red Gulp
    7. World Championship Riesling
    6. NASCARbernet
    5. Chef Boyardeaux
    4. Peanut Noir
    3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar
    2. Grape Expectations
    1. Nasti Spumante

    The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

    P.S. Don't bother writing back to tell me that this is a hoax.
    I know possum is not white meat.
     
  2. hunter29180

    hunter29180 Well-Known Member

    depends ifin you skin it or not...after washing the mud off that is...course some of us just roll it in more mud before covering it up in hot coals.....:D
     

  3. jack404

    jack404 Former Guest

    Jan 11, 2010
    Australia
    you folks know bugger all about wine . no disrespect meant but looky this one

    just suited for the working man after a hard days shearing wombats and cooking cats

    drink through clenched teeth as the maker suggested eh ,

    label reads as follows



    Douglas L. Lamb
    Old Fella Red
    Claret
    The Big 69’er

    An unusual ‘rough-as-guts’ wine that has the distinctive bouquet of old and ill-cared for animals. It is best drunk with the teeth clenched to prevent ingestion of the seeds and skins. Connoisseurs will savour the slight Tannin Taste of burnt shag feathers and soiled medical dressings. Possessors of a cultivated apalte [sic] admire the initial assault on the taste buds which comes from the careful and loving blending of circus hosings with perished jock straps. the maturing in Midland Abattoir hogsheads gives it a very Definite Nose. In the United States this wine is marketed as Crow Brand (9 out of 10 people who drink it for the first time exclaim “VRAARRK”).

    It won a ‘Bonze at the Kings Cross Homosexuals’ Convention of 1973.

    CAUTION - Avoid contact with the eyes and open cuts. Keep away from ‘naked fames’ (both old and new).

    750ml
    PRODUCE OF AUSTRALIA
     

    Attached Files:

  4. jack404

    jack404 Former Guest

    Jan 11, 2010
    Australia
    but bottles of this 1969 vintage will not be for poor folks

    this was a joke by Penfolds who after a US judge blasted Australian wines , they labeled 1000 bottles of Grange Hermitage 1969 and sold them to raise funds for a Australian wine brokerage in the USA ( and then won that many award both in the USA and the EU the french got shirty and started banning folks from using french names on wines )

    if you google grange hermitage its about $2000 a bottle for a good one

    these sell now for about $4500 a bottle

    i have 1 ;) ( its empty we drank it on my retirement along with a few others )

    i'm told the empty is worth $200 just for a collectors item

    i've got a candle stuck in mine , for when the power goes out

    oh the official report on this is as follows

    (this is a US review)

    Medium brick red. Lovely fragrant dark chocolate/ mocha/ red berry aromas with some meaty complexity. Fresh richly concentrated
    wine with plenty of dark chocolate/ mocha redcurrant flavours and fine slinky dry tannins. Builds up a touch sappy at the finish.
    Finishes long and sweet. Drink up. 95% Shiraz 5% Cabernet Sauvignon.
     
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2012
  5. HunterAlpha1

    HunterAlpha1 Former Guest

    Aug 8, 2011
    Yorktown, VA
    sounds kinda like what would happen if liberalism, socialism, and islam combined were a wine.
     
  6. jack404

    jack404 Former Guest

    Jan 11, 2010
    Australia
  7. flyingtiger85

    flyingtiger85 Well-Known Member

    Aug 24, 2010
    Nevada
     
  8. flintlock

    flintlock Well-Known Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2007
    Upstate NY
    ARe you sure they didn't start selling this a while ago? It would explain some of the strange things you see at Wal-Mart!
     
  9. You mean like these wine consumers? Oops, I mean connoisseurs. :D

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  10. Zane71464

    Zane71464 Well-Known Member

    Aug 1, 2009
    Ohio NRA Member
    ..feeli'na little "woozy" here...
    They get Wine in@ walley world and it could only get worse.
     
  11. CharlieSW

    CharlieSW New Member

    60
    Jun 19, 2011
    The examples of consumers noted above are the reason a "blush" wine will never sell at WalMart
     
  12. JohnHenry

    JohnHenry Well-Known Member

    Those look more like "common-sewers" than connoisseurs !
     
  13. carver

    carver Moderator Supporting Member

    I don't dress up to go to Wal Mart, but those two pics are just .......!
     
  14. langenc

    langenc Active Member

    720
    Oct 23, 2009
    Montmorency Co, MI
    My tshirt says "Possum-the other white meat"
     
Similar Threads
Forum Title Date
The Pump House Saloon Gun Oil at Wal-Mart.... Sep 25, 2015
The Pump House Saloon Attention Wal-Mart eaters ... Feb 3, 2012
The Pump House Saloon MURDER AT WAL-MART Feb 23, 2009
The Pump House Saloon Wal-Mart capers Jul 12, 2007
The Pump House Saloon Shopping at Wal-mart Sep 10, 2003