North VS South...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by glocknut, Oct 18, 2005.

  1. glocknut

    glocknut New Member

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    Subject: North Vs South



    North Vs. South:
    The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses.
    The North has dating services, The South has family reunions.
    The North has double last names, The South has double first names.
    The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits.
    The North has green salads, The South has collard greens.
    The North has lobsters, The South has crawdads.
    --- FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH ----
    In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in
    a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.
    Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they
    live for.
    Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store
    do not buy food at this store.
    Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.
    Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"
    Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.
    Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.
    The first Southern statement to creep in! to a transplanted Northerner's
    vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way.

    All of them are in denial about it.
    The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
    Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.
    If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
    If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store.

    It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
    Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns,
    they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
    In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
    AND REMEMBER:
    If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
    Have a good day! Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and I reckon your life will turn into a country music song.
  2. berto64

    berto64 Active Member

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    Thanks for this one, Mike! It's hilarious!
  3. SouthernMoss

    SouthernMoss *Admin Tech Staff*

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    Yep, that sounds about right. :p :D
  4. Deputy Dawg

    Deputy Dawg Active Member

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  5. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

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    Hit the nail on the Head!!!!!!!!
  6. inplanotx

    inplanotx New Member

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  7. xxxxxxl

    xxxxxxl New Member

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    Home Sweet Home! :D
  8. glocknut

    glocknut New Member

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    I liked this part...

    The first Southern statement to creep in! to a transplanted Northerner's
    vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way.

    All of them are in denial about it.


    SO TRUE !!!!! :D And then come the other words.....y'all, and others. And then......comes the Fried Okra !!!! When a Yankee starts to refer to fried okra as an essential vegetable....IT OVER !!!!! :eek: :D :cool:
    I may not be a true Southerner, but i also can never go back and be the same either.... :rolleyes:

    Several months ago when my grandmother was still alive, i went up to north dakota to see her. I went into the local cafe and ordered a barbecue bacon cheeseburger and a order of fried okra. The young girl said "whats okra" ?!!
    I said... Well, its..a...well, i dunno, but its good. Its a breaded slice of okra plant....WHAT THE HECKS AMATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE ??? You don't have okra ??!!!!! I will admid that by that point i was hamming it up a bit,....and they thought i was NUTS !!!!! :D

    D**d Yankees.... :D :D :D :D

    mike
    gn
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2005
  9. glocknut

    glocknut New Member

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    Thats another thing.... When you look at your own people and start thinking "those ****ing Yankees" you know that you took a wrong turn somewhere. Not exactly sure where.....but SOMEwhere... ?? :rolleyes:

    mike
    gn
    Yes, my name is Glocknut... I'm a recovering yankee... I've been clean for 14 years now... :D
  10. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

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    I've been clean, in that venacular, for forty-nine years, Mike!!!!!!

    I've been in Louisiana, Alabama and Mississippi more than two-thirds of my life.

    Actually, 71.02%!!!!!
  11. Kimber Man

    Kimber Man New Member

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    I like this one........................

    :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
  12. inplanotx

    inplanotx New Member

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    Now that explains a lot! :rolleyes: ;)
  13. Deputy Dawg

    Deputy Dawg Active Member

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    Yes it does............:D:D:D:D
  14. glocknut

    glocknut New Member

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    Yes, but to these D*** Southerners, you and are are still D*** Yankees... :rolleyes:

    mike
    gn
  15. Glockgod

    Glockgod New Member

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    While were on the North/South topic would someone please tell me what to put on grits to make them edible? Going to Lexington next weekend and would LOVE to shock the rest of the carpool by eating a bowl of grits without gagging. ANY advice would be helpful.
  16. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

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    I slather mine with REAL Butter, Salt and lots of pepper.
  17. llama.45

    llama.45 New Member

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  18. SouthernMoss

    SouthernMoss *Admin Tech Staff*

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    Yep, Marlin's got the ticket. Just think of grits as ground corn (which is what it is) and season it the same way.
  19. inplanotx

    inplanotx New Member

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    Yup, lots o salt and butter. Just like eatin an ear of corn! :D :D :D
  20. SouthernMoss

    SouthernMoss *Admin Tech Staff*

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    BTW, make sure it's REAL grits (either "old fashioned" or "quick") and not that instant, single-serving crap. [​IMG]






    Oh, yeah.... cheese grits (preferably with garlic) are good too, especially with fried catfish!
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