Ok time to tell the truth

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by 358 winchester, Mar 23, 2007.

  1. 358 winchester

    358 winchester *TFF Admin Staff*

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    Do you ever BUTT BURP in public? If so you may be part of Al's problem :D :eek: :D :D :D
  2. TRAP55

    TRAP55 New Member

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    Ron, all those cattle producing methane got nothing on you!:D
  3. hoser1

    hoser1 New Member

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    What I hate is when I sneeze and fart.
  4. Marlin T

    Marlin T Active Member

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    I'm guilty as charged, but somebody needs to hire some exterminators to get rid of the worlds termite population.

    "The EPA says the world's termites emit 20,000 kilotons of methane gas per year, almost as much as all of the United States' manmade methane emissions combined."
  5. Bruce FLinch

    Bruce FLinch New Member

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    :D What about if we added the Womanmade methane production too! :D
  6. bluemonkey11b

    bluemonkey11b New Member

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    I do occasionally. My favorite is to leave the ambush gas at the grocery store. Fart and walk away........
  7. 358 winchester

    358 winchester *TFF Admin Staff*

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    I did just that at the meat counter once and this old lady walks up before I could get gone she bends over to pick up a pack of pork chops when it hit her
    "My god this meat is rotten" and walked off leaving her buggy half full right there. I dang near wet my pants I was laughing so hard.
  8. rosierita

    rosierita New Member

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    LMAO!:D
  9. The REAL cause of global warming: methane in the atmosphere. :D ;) :p
  10. Bruce FLinch

    Bruce FLinch New Member

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    Reminds me of a little Public display..

    20 yrs ago, Bro #3 got married in Ohio. My Bro # 2 & I both live in Ca, so we fly back together for a long weekend of celebration. Boy, did we celebrate in those days....

    So we get up Monday AM, still feeling celebratory, & very gassy. We have the window down in the Shuttle to breathe, on our way back to Detroit Metro. ( this is in December )

    We get our Coach seats on the plane, 2 rows in front of the bathroom. I have the window & Bro # 2 has the aisle. I tell Tom "someone is lucky they are not sitting between us." Another pair of burps erupt shortly.. trying not to laugh out loud.. We haven't even left the gate, people are stilll getting on the plane, they are using the bathroom, etc.

    Another couple burps occur, still trying not to laugh outloud.. We hear the guy behind us exclaim to his companion, " I told you not to get seats by the bathroom" At this point, we are holding ourselves with our mouths closed as not to start laughing out loud. We shook so bad we both vibrated toward the center seat & smacked our heads together. :D :D :D
  11. glocknut

    glocknut New Member

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    All the time at Wal Mart !!! But I have to be carefull. I ripped on in the express line and i didn't realize there was an 80 year old grey haired lady that was 4'9" standing behind me at the time.

    Yesterday i was getting some price quotes on windows at Lowes and was leaning on the counter as the guy was checking the computer on the right. Unknown to me another guy had started working on the computer to the left. I ripped one at a distance of less than 1 foot from the guy.... Usually i like to walk away after i shock people... i wasn't able to do that and was kind of embarrased. A little bit anyways... :D

    I now have pills for my stomach problems, but if i take them i am worried that i will just not have as much fun as i am used to... :(

    mike
    gn
  12. 358 winchester

    358 winchester *TFF Admin Staff*

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    OH just a word of caution don't try to force a butt burp after 55 years of age.:eek:
  13. Ya know, Ron, I heard on the news that they just found eight bodies up Fort Meyers way. You don't suppose the cause of death was . . . :eek: :eek: :D
  14. sluggermn

    sluggermn New Member

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    hey 358
    my grandfather used to always tell me " never trust a fart" wise old sage he was!!

    slugger


    oh and to answer the question yes all the time, if I dont let em rip I am afraid I might explode!!
  15. BIGBOOMER

    BIGBOOMER New Member

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    Yes, you know the definition of a surprise: A fart with a lump in it! :D
  16. BIGBOOMER

    BIGBOOMER New Member

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    The fart is the safety release valve that God provided us with! :D
  17. ssuttle13

    ssuttle13 New Member

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    I find humor in fouling the air in one isle of a store, then quickly advancing to the next isle selecting a area to watch the drop zone and ponder the reactions of unsapecting happy shoppers as the enter the quarentined area. Reactions really fault from nauzia to outburst of sheer disgust. So remember when your least expecting it, don't be surprised if someone asks you was that you or are you shopping on a anchient waste disposal site, and whats that guy over there staring at? :eek: :eek: :eek:
  18. Lead Lobber

    Lead Lobber Former Guest

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    I like to get far enough away, so everyone is confused, then cut a big one (audible within 30 feet, or so, after stuffing myself with beans, or some other methane generator) the night before. Malls are best for this; they provide better facial expressions from the surrounding victims. Everyone half turns for a look behind them - a "tell" (give away in the world of class farting). Just move slowly toward the prettiest girl, and ask if you can buy her a cup of coffee. Works every time :D :D :D

    LL - truth you say? That's another story :D :D :D
  19. ShadowHunt

    ShadowHunt New Member

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    The best is when you "crop dust" them. Instead of someone being able to walk through it real quick, they are trapped for a while. :rolleyes:
  20. glocknut

    glocknut New Member

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    A true pro can sort the lumps and fluids from the gasses and just pass the gas.....

    most of the time anyway.... :eek:

    mike
    gn
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