On a roll now

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Gunfyter, Jun 12, 2003.

  1. Gunfyter

    Gunfyter New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2003
    Messages:
    1,956
    Location:
    Western Maryland
    SM, try and contain yourself here.


    MEN vs. WOMEN

    1. NAMES
    If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

    If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla,Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

    2. EATING OUT

    When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

    When the girls get their bill,out come the pocket calculators.

    3. MONEY

    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

    4. BATHROOMS

    A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, tooth paste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

    5. ARGUMENTS

    A woman has the last word in any argument.

    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    6. CATS

    Women love cats.

    Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

    7. FUTURE

    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    8. SUCCESS

    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


    9. MARRIAGE

    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

    10. DRESSING UP

    A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

    A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

    11. NATURAL

    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    12. OFFSPRING

    Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
    secret fears and hopes and dreams.

    A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

    13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

    Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

    [​IMG]
  2. SouthernMoss

    SouthernMoss *Admin Tech Staff*

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2003
    Messages:
    10,657
    Location:
    SW MS
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