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Ouch

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Gunfyter, Jul 3, 2003.

  1. Gunfyter

    Gunfyter New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2003
    Messages:
    1,956
    Location:
    Western Maryland
    Jack was a successful lawyer but he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his career and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.

    After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across an old country doctor who solved the problem.

    "The good news is that I can cure your headaches ...The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine, and the pressure creates a terrible headache. The only way to relieve the condition is to remove your testicles."

    Jack was shocked and depressed. He wondered whether he had anything to live for. He couldn't even concentrate long enough to answer his own question, so he decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

    When he left the hospital after the surgery he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he also felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

    He saw a men's clothing store and thought: "That's what I need ... a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit", and picked one out. The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see, size 44 long." Jack laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

    "Been in the business 60 years." Jack tried on the suit and it fit him perfectly. As Jack admired himself, the salesman said, "How about a new shirt?" Jack thought for a moment then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Jack, and said, "34 sleeve and a 16 1/2 neck." Jack was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

    "Been in the business 60 years." Jack tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Jack adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman said, "How about new shoes?" Jack was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Jack's feet, and said, "Let's see . 9 1/2 E." Jack was astonished, "How did you know?"

    "Been in the business 60 years." Jack tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Jack walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman said, "How about some new underwear?" Jack thought for a second, and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Jack's waist and said,"Let's see ... size 36."

    Jack laughed, "Ah ha. I got you! I've worn size 32 since I was 18 years
    old.

    The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear size 32. A 32 underwear would press your testicles up against your spine and give you a hell of a headache"

    [​IMG]
  2. inplanotx

    inplanotx New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2002
    Messages:
    8,889
    Location:
    Texas
    I like this one. Need to pass it on!

    Attached Files:

  3. Elarski

    Elarski New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2003
    Messages:
    8
    Location:
    Camarillo, CA
    That was damn funny!!!:p
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