outhouse poem

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Diamondback, Jul 7, 2010.

  1. Diamondback

    Diamondback Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2009
    Messages:
    1,042
    Location:
    Silver City, Oklahoma
    THE OUTHOUSE POEM

    The little Alaskan country store trade was slow
    The owner sat around,
    With sharpened knife and willow stick
    Piled shavings on the ground.

    No modern facilities had they,
    The log across the rill
    Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
    That sat against the hill.

    "Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
    The owner leaning back,
    Said not a word but whittled on,
    And nodded toward the shack.

    With quickened step she entered there
    But only stayed a minute,
    Until she screamed, just like a snake
    Or spider might be in it.

    With startled look and beet red face
    She bounded through the door,
    And headed quickly for the car
    Just like three gals before.

    She missed the foot log - jumped the stream
    The owner gave a shout,
    As her silk stockings, down at her knees
    Caught on a sassafras sprout.

    She tripped and fell - got up, and then
    In obvious disgust,
    Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
    And faded in the dust.

    Of course we all desired to know
    What made the gals all do
    The things they did, and then we found
    The whittling owner knew.

    A speaking system he'd devised
    To make the thing complete,
    He tied a speaker on the wall
    Beneath the toilet seat.

    He'd wait until the gals got set
    And then the devilish tike,
    Would stop his whittling long enough,
    To speak into the mike.

    And as she sat, a voice below
    Struck terror, fright and fear,

    "Will you please use the other hole,
    We're painting under here!"
  2. Eddie N

    Eddie N New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2009
    Messages:
    1,192
    Location:
    Colorado
    That's a keeper!:D:D:D
  3. navis128

    navis128 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2009
    Messages:
    1,392
    Location:
    Texas
    My grampa got a toy similar to that.

    He installed it under the lid in my grams bathroom. After the thud, you could hear her cuss him from down the block :D
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