Penguin takes his car to the shop...

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by corpis66, Jun 26, 2006.

  1. corpis66

    corpis66 New Member

    Dec 12, 2002
    central MS
    after telling the mechanic what was wrong he decided to go get some ice cream...a short walk on a hot day eating some vanilla ice cream... he shortly returns to the shop and the mechanic says..'looks like you blew a ...seal ...'

    ok i am not good at telling jokes but this one cracked me up... :p

  2. JohnK3

    JohnK3 New Member

    May 5, 2003
    Brings to mind a song by comedian Kip Adotta, one that I liked so much I went out and bought the vinyl for it. Still own the vinyl, too!

    It was April the forty-first
    Being a quadruple leapyear
    I was driving in downtown Atlantis
    My Barracuda was in the shop
    So I was in a rented Stingray
    And it was over-heating
    So I pulled into a Shell station
    They said I'd blown a seal
    I said, "Fix the damn thing
    And leave my private life out of it, okay pal"

    While they were doing that
    I walked over to a place called The Oyster Bar
    A real dive
    But I knew the owner
    He used to play for the Dolphins
    I said "Hi Gil"
    You hafta yell, he's hard of herring

    Think I had a wet dream
    Cruisin' through the Gulf Stream
    Wet dream

    Gil was also down on his luck, fact is
    He was barely keeping his head below water
    I gullied up to the sandbar
    He poured the usual
    Rusty snail, hold the grunion, shaken not stirred
    With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side
    Heavy on the mako
    I slipped him a fin, on porpoise
    I was feeling good
    I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's squids
    For the halibut

    Well the place was crowded
    We were packed in like sardines
    They were all there to listen to the
    Big band sound of Tommy Dorsal
    What sole
    Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna
    "Salmon Chanted Evening"
    And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers
    Probably there to see the bass player

    One of them was this cute little yellowtail
    And she's giving me the eye
    So I figure, this is my chance for a little fun
    You know, a piece of Pisces

    But she said things I just couldn't fathom
    She was too deep
    And seemed to be under a lot of pressure
    Boy could she drink
    She drank like a... she drank a lot
    I said, "What's your sign"
    She said, "Aquarium"
    I said "Great, let's get tanked"


    I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait
    I said "C'mon baby, it'll only take a few minnows"
    She threw me that same old line
    "Not tonight, I got a haddock"

    And she wasn't kiddin' either
    'Cause in came the biggest, meanest-looking Haddock I'd ever seen come down the pike
    He was covered with mussels
    He came over to me, he said "Listen shrimp
    Don't you come trolling around here"
    What a crab
    This guy was steamed
    I could see the anchor in his eyes

    I turned to him, I said "Abalone
    You're just being shellfish"
    Well I knew it was going to be trouble and so did Gil
    'Cause he was already on the phone to the cods
    The haddock hits me with a sucker punch
    I catch him with a left hook
    He eels over
    It was a fluke but there he was
    Lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel

    I said "Forget the cods Gil
    This guy's gonna need a sturgeon"
    Well the yellowtail was impressed
    With the way I landed her boyfriend
    She came over to me, she said
    "Hey big boy, you're really a game fish
    What's your name"
    I said, "Marlin"


    Well from then on we had a whale of a time
    I took her to dinner
    I took her to dance
    I bought her a bouquet of flounders
    And then I went home with her
    And what did I get for my trouble
    A case of the clams (*)

  3. inplanotx

    inplanotx Active Member

    Jan 28, 2002
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