Purina Diet

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by AL MOUNT, Jan 3, 2010.

  1. Yesterday I was buying a 40.lb bag of Purina Dog Chow (Small Crunchy Bits) at Wal-Mart,

    for our 2 large dogs, the Mastiff Leo, and our Belgian Tervern Rebel,

    when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    What did she think, that I had an elephant?

    Since I had little else to do, being retired and all, on impulse, I told her that no,

    I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again,

    although I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time.

    On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward

    with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works

    is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets

    and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is

    nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

    I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.

    Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me.

    I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

    WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore. :-(


    ps: Leo, at last vet visit, was 200 lbs. 4 oz., Rebel is probably 60+ lb. or so.
  2. Insulation Tim

    Insulation Tim Well-Known Member

    Oct 29, 2008
    Let me mop up the coffee on the keyboard, and go to work.

    Good one Al.

  3. Hey, Hey, Hey..... there are some of us on here that don't take too kindly

    to nasty 4 letter words like that.....:mad:....:D

    On 2nd thought :rolleyes: .... somebodys gotta support Social Security.... :p

    yer forgiven... go to w**k :D:D
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