REDNECK LETTER --.

Discussion in 'The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch' started by Guest, Mar 2, 2003.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    low2go
    *Senior Chief Moderator*
    Posts: 416
    (6/12/01 2:49:12 pm)
    | Del All REDNECK LETTER --.
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    Dear Son,

    I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast.
    We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the
    newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so
    we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last
    Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they
    moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address.
    This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not
    sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled
    the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It
    only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the
    second time for four days.
    John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried
    because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your
    sister had a baby this morning; but I haven't found out what it is
    yet so I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just
    like your brother.
    Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull
    him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We had him
    cremated and he burned for three days. There isn't much more news at
    this time. Nothing much has happened.


    Love, Mom


    P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already
    sealed.

    homer4
    Moderator
    Posts: 860
    (6/12/01 7:17:45 pm)
    | Del Re: REDNECK LETTER --.
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    Gee Chief!,and I'm looking for property in West Virginia too.
    ...and two hard boiled eggs.

    Misterstan
    Moderator
    Posts: 273
    (6/12/01 7:31:13 pm)
    | Del REDNECK HORSESHOES
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    nighthawk
    Member
    Posts: 28
    (6/13/01 10:52:52 pm)
    | Del Re: REDNECK LETTER --.
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    A young Arkansas hillbilly got married. After the cermoney, he and his new wife went ot the nearest motel.
    A few minutes later, he calls his father.

    "Pa", he says, "She's a virgin! What do I do?"

    "Boy", replys his Pa, "you get your clothes on and get the hell out of there!"

    "Why, Pa", the boy ask.

    "Well, boy, if'in she ain't good enough fer her kin, she ain't good enough fer ourn!!!"

    TShooters
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 257
    (6/13/01 11:13:44 pm)
    | Del Re: REDNECK HORSESHOES
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    Chief & Stan H.,

    Too funny!

    Stan L.,

    Great pic! Now...maybe I could get a ringer with a horseshoe like them thar!!

    Sharon



    Edited by: TShooters at: 6/14/01 12:15:56 am

    oneknight
    Moderator
    Posts: 1175
    (6/13/01 11:25:11 pm)
    | Del Re: REDNECK HORSESHOES
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    Sharon,

    Them's some big horse shoes for that little peg......
    Wonderin' if they come in difront cullers? lol!




    Donna

    Tac401
    Administrator
    Posts: 846
    (6/14/01 12:15:28 am)
    | Del
    ezSupporter
    Re: REDNECK LETTER --.
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    Now dems my kinda horse shoes yep!
    The Firearms Forum Vietnam Memories Bulletin Board Contact Administrator

    Misterstan
    Moderator
    Posts: 319
    (6/24/01 11:17:06 am)
    | Del Re: REDNECK LETTER --.
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    Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can't touch it until she's fourteen.

    What's the most popular pick-up line in Alabama? "Nice tooth."

    How do you know if you are staying in a Kentucky hotel? When you call the front desk and say, "I've gotta leak in my sink," and the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead."

    How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married? There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.

    Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

    What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi? A documentary!

    How many rednecks does it take to eat a 'possum? Two. One to eat and one to watch for traffic.

    An Arkansas State Trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says, "Bout what?"

    Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

    Why did O.J. Simpson move to West Virginia? Everyone there has the same DNA.

    Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas burned down? Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.

    A new law recently passed in North Carolina. When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.

    Two Mississippians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey, Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
    "Jus' some chickens." "If I guess how many they are, can I have one?" "Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them." "OK. Ummmmmmmmm....are there five?"

    What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida have in common? Somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.

    A Mississippian came home and found his house on fire, He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here! My house is on fire!" "OK," replied the fireman, "How do we get there?" "Shucks, don't you still have them big, red trucks?"

    Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more? 'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.

    What do you have when you have 32 Rednecks in the same room? A full set of teeth.

    Stan Lambert
    St. Clair Shores, Michigan

    Genog
    Moderator
    Posts: 202
    (8/31/01 9:36:57 am)
    | Del Re: REDNECK LETTER --.
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    The Redneck Hunters

    A couple of redneck hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to
    the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his
    head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to
    the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

    The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can
    help. First, lets make sure he's dead."

    There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

    The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "OK, now what?
    Geno G

    mt pari
    Moderator
    Posts: 84
    (8/31/01 3:34:47 pm)
    | Del Re: REDNECK LETTER --.
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    Now these are down right hilarious!!! Thanks all I needed that..
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