Redneck . . . STARSHIP ENTERPRISE CAPTAIN

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by aero, Jul 17, 2012.

  1. aero

    aero Active Member

    409
    Apr 20, 2012
    Pacific Northwest
    Your Starship Enterprise Captain might be a redneck if....


    Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month

    He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles

    You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"


    He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil

    He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section

    He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"

    He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen

    He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it

    He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"

    He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser

    He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"

    He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"

    He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens

    He paints the starship John Deere green

    He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"

    He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"

    His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale

    His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls

    He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge


    He sets phaser to "Cajun"





    `
     
  2. berto64

    berto64 Active Member

    Hahahaha! (I love this!)
     

  3. Haligan

    Haligan Well-Known Member

    Feb 25, 2008
    FEMA Region II
    That's funny ! In these, the most serious of, times thanks for posting that. I needed a good laugh.
     
  4. skullfr

    skullfr New Member

    902
    Jul 11, 2012
    Beaumont,Texas
    forgot one important one-right before warp speed engagement he says "hold my beer and watch this"
     
  5. Sig Willy

    Sig Willy Well-Known Member

    Jul 10, 2012
    Texas
    "Neelix! Is my spacekill cooked yet?"
     
  6. Buckshot

    Buckshot Active Member

    May 5, 2009
    Southern AZ
    They ain't Klingons, they's Yankees!
     
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